One Week to Go

Holy Moley. Only one week before Lana is due. Its really strange at the moment, I can't quite believe that I will be a dad soon. Its not really hit me yet.

The pictures below show the nursery, which looks absolutely lovey. My mum did all the work :-) I just provided money and cups of tea!


This is what the back room looked like before. You can see the carpet was a mess, due to a couple of red wine spills - oops! This carpet has been ripped up and a new one is being put down tomorrow

You can see that she will have a view of the back garden from her window. Also, on the windowsill here is a beige bear, Roopidoop. He was my favourite teddy when I was little, so hopefully Lana will love him as much as I did (and still do!)


My mum gets to work with the paste board and the prince & princess wall paper!


Didn't take her long to get the room done. it was all over in about 7 hours


This is a close up of the pattern on the paper


This is it all finished bar the carpet. The photo's don't really do it justice. It looks absolutely gorgeous.

You can't see it in the pictures but the lamp shade is a mop top, and is in the same material as the curtains

So, anyway, thanks to my mum for all her hard work - it looks absolutely great!

Mens Semi's

Mens Semi's - no not flaccid cocks, but the tennis. I was saddened to see Andy Murray go out in the semi finals to Andy Roddick.

However, let this be a lesson to the stupid BBC reporters. I was appalled to listen to them all, without exception, before the tournament even started saying it would be a Federer vs Murray final.

How disrespectful to the other tennis players!

Shame on the BBC for shabby biased reporting.

This Guy is Great

Drinking With Bob Speaks the Truth. Mike says watching him is like going for a drink with me!

My new Sofa Covers

Just had the sofa's in my conservatory re-covered. I bought the sofa's 9 years ago second hand for £25, and had them covered in cream. Now they have been re-done in the colours you see here. I think you'll agree they look nice, and were well worth the £25 quid I shelled out for them!

Mikes Stag Do

Last weekend a few of us took off for Brandy Wharf, for Mikes Stag do. We had decided to go clay pigeon shooting, which was great, and we camped right next door to the pub! Winner!

Even the weather was great - the first time in about 3 or 4 years I have been camping and haven't slept in a puddle

The pigeon shoot was great - some thing I have never done before, which was evident when the scores came in! I came second to last, having only managing to hit 7 clays. Gaz came first - he only missed about 1. Hes done it before though.

Anyway, here are a few select pictures...


Heres my tent - the beast!


Mike & Iain - tents up, beers down!


Mike takes a pretend dump in my tent, I hope!


This was my Pod. Camp bed, and 'Salmon' coloured duvet. Its Salmon, ok? Not pink


Mike Shows off his fake tat


Eddy, tough guy


Me, becoming atomic'ed

Mike showing his Frisby skills


So, when i pass out, they play extreme Jenga on my head!

Eddy goes first. He missed all but one!

Gaz's Gun

Alex

Mike

I like this pic, cos you can see the cartridge being ejected

Bazza looking pensive


Yes, these were the toilets at the range!

After the shoot, we sat around chatting for a while before hitting the pub

Gaz celebrates his win


Baz



Goolag and James

On the approach to the Cider centre


Brandy Wharf. Warm weather brings out the crowds
Apparently Wharf is an acronym for 'WhareHouse Along River Front'


Mikes anti vegatarian t shirt :-)


Mike drank cherry and apple cider from a goblet


A great time was had by all, and Mike got away without loosing one single eye brow or pube!
We bought him a deadly cocktail at the endof the night consisting of 5 different shots! This seemed to finish him off :-)

There was a drunk guy who kept coming over and chatting with us. He was from Hull, and was an alcoholic. I am so glad I am not an alcoholic. First time he came over, it was 7:30am, and he had an almost empty bottle of vodka. He was pissed out of his head, and was just generally chatting nonsense. Then he returned at 2:30pm with a second bottle of vodka, that he had drunk most of. I realised now that he was only coming over to speak to us, because he saw we has a lot of beer and cider between us, so he was trying to grift drinks.

He turned up on the Sunday morning at around 6:30, without any vodka, and started to drink all the stale left overs (with flies in!) from the night before - grim. Then he drank most of Mikes Frosty Jacks, and in his slurred speech, asking if I was a 'morning drinker'

No I replied, thank f*ck!

The whole weekend was so lovely, weather wise, and very relaxed. I know Mikes girlfriend Debbie was a bit nervous about what Mike happen to him, but now she only has my best man speech to worry about!

I Dreamed a Dream.......

Recently I noticed the uncanny resemblance between X-Factor runner up, Susan Boyle, and legendary 2-pot screamer, Bazza!

Barry
Susan

Uncanny isn't it?! Even more uncanny is this 'photo fit'....



So there you have it - I reckon Bazza is in fact, SuBo!

Raging Against the Machine!

On 12th May, I decided to sign on.

Have you ever tried to do that? I thought I'd do it online, so I didn't have to go into town. To cut a long story short, 'they', the 'machine' screwed it up. Personally I think what happened is, is that they don't train the people who are meant to deal with such requests properly.

So, after hearing nothing, I went in on 20th May.

After wasting an entire morning re-filling in all the information that they lost, my claim went in. As of today, 8th June, I have received not one penny from them!

So I decided to give them a call to figure out what was going on.

0845 608 8532 option 2. This started at 12:30

Its now 16:40!

You keep getting the 'Im sorry none of our operators are available to take your call, please try later'

But occasionally, for no reason *what-so-ever* the phone system decides to put you through to a random department! Seriously, Im not joking! So then you have to start all over again!

By 3pm, I had decided to go into the job centre to use their phones - why should it cost me?! I got through to 3 random departments in the space of one and a half hours!

So, after wasting an entire afternoon trying to get some cash, I have managed to get absolutely nowhere!

I spoke to one of the 'drones from sector 7G' and they have taken my phone number (which they already have in triplicate!) so the benefits people can call me

I now completely understand why people get amazingly fucked off with 'the system'. And it is entirely the system I am frustrated with.

Let me explain...

Usually, there is some kind of 'hate figure' or 'bogey man' I can focus my anger on, but in this case the staff in the centre are absolutely great, there isn't one person who hasn't been polite or bent over backwards to help me. Even the people on the phone today agreed entirely with me that the phone system was unbelievable.

It is the unseen 'system' that they try and operate within that is the problem. I can't even vent my anger against an unseen entity - or even stick pins in it and invoke voodoo curses - 'they' have really thought this through!

6 More Weeks

I can hardly believe that in 6 weeks time I will be a dad! From the scan, we have been told that 'it' is a girl, so we have decided to name her Lana Sandra Ellen Taylor, Sandra comes from my mum, and Ellen is from my grandma.

We have been converting the house into a 4 bedroom place with 2 bathrooms now. However, not having a job, is making it more than a bit hard to get it all done in time, I just hope I can find another job before 26th July, which is when Lana is due

26th July is also when 2 of my friends are also expecting - I can't believe we are all due on the same day!

Prevention is Better than a Cure

Wouldn't it make total sense if the NHS could prescribe physical exercise?

I was talking to my sister about this today. She reckoned it would be great if the NHS paid for her to have weekly gym sessions, as exercise has been linked to enhancing peoples moods, and contributing to an overall sense of well being.

For me too, I am managing my diabetes with diet and exercise, so surely it would be prudent for the NHS to pay towards my gym membership.

I can hear you all now, howling 'No Way! pay for it yourself!', and to a degree I was playing Devils Advocate, and Im sure if I went to my Dr he would say something along the lines of

'Nice try, Mr Taylor, now piss off, I have work to do'

However, imagine if I was a woman, and went to him, crying and wanting bigger tits. They would pay!

It seems to me the NHS forks out for stuff that isn't necessarily a medical condition, whereas, someone with depression or diabetes could really benefit from an NHS funded gym

Rant over!

Thought of the Day

If all these fraudsters we call MP's are making 'honest mistakes' or 'accounting oversights' with their expense claims, why the hell would we trust them to put the economy back on track?

Furthermore, is it any wonder the economy is so fucked up when these sheisters have been in charge of it?!

Role on the election...

Get the Fuck Outta Here!

I nearly choked on my beer when I read this!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7851031.stm

When oh when are we going to stop making excuses for people?

Hey! If you're fat, its not your fault! its like catching a cold or the chicken pox, no seriously!

I totally can't wait for 'lazy' to become a virus :-

Hey Mark, why do you sit around all day, watching TV and drinking beer?
Haven't you heard? I got that damn lazy virus, yea, its a real bummer, but my Disability Living Allowance cheque makes it a little more easy to take

For fucks sake!

You never see active people coming down with this obesity virus do you? Fuck me, Rick Waller probably could sue someone - he could have been an Olympic sprint champion!

Diabetes Update

Well, I have been to the Dr's a few times now since my diabetes diagnosis. I have even over come my fear of needles, and had my blood taken twice now

My HBa1c test came back with a result of 6.9%, which is good, as 'they' like to see diabetics with a number below 7%, which means Im controlling it well with diet and exercise

My liver, kidneys & pancreas are all functioning perfectly well, and my cholesterol is 4.2 mmol/l, which is great too. However, they have put my on a 40mg dose of Simvastatin, to reduce my cholesterol, which seems a little severe to me? My LDL levels are 2.9 mmol/l and they like them to be around 2 mmol/l it seems. However, 40mg, seems a bit like over-kill to me.

Im still reeling to find Im diabetic, as I have always been fit, active and within weight limits, but Im glad I have found out sooner, rather than later.

I have stepped up my fitness regime, and I am now probably fitter than I have been for a long time, if ever. I wuld urge anyone to have a test next time they're at their GP's. It might be the best thing you ever did

Whatever Number They Role....

...We loose!

I read this the other day, and found it massively telling.

Senator Chris Dodd amended a stimulus bill stating that 'no matter what happens' with executives of AIG shall receive their bonuses. First of all, I'd like to ask, why was this amendment allowed to get through?

Secondly....

Barak Obama then signed the bill. So far, so good - you still with me?

The very next day, Obama went on TV and appearing outraged, he declared: "I can't believe these people are getting bonuses..."

So why sign the fucking bill, dumb ass?! I had such high hopes for Obama, but it seems he's probably just as bad as the shower of shit that came before him

Ho hum...

Politicians - Scratch the Surface...

Unfortunately I can't take credit for this post, I got it from a friend in my inbox, but I felt I just had to post it, to show the lies some parties will go to, to try and influence people. Unfortunately the people who will be voting for this party wont have the 'nounce' to look into it. Perhaps even the main stream parties do the same thing, I don't know, Im just reporting what I've been shown!

Anyway, here goes...this is from graphic design east anglia

BNP Stock Photography This popped through my door today. Freedom of speech is a great thing and they have every right to post flyers through my door. However, as a graphic designer I can't help but play the game of 'They're not real people, I wonder where they got the stock image from'. Its a good game and keeps me quiet for ages. I'll start. Old couple on the back is iStock number File #: 5048614 http://www.istockphoto.com/stock-photo-5048614-senior-woman-hugging-her-husband.php More thanks to Redditiers iStock number File #: 2192770 http://www.istockphoto.com/stock-photo-2192770-caring-health-care-professional.php iStock number File #: 5132168 http://www.istockphoto.com/stock-photo-5132168-construction-worker-portraits.php iStock number File #: 6426547 http://www.istockphoto.com/stock-photo-6426547-love-my-mommy.php And they even have a Polish Spitfire.... http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/03/04/polish_spitfire/ Thought the Guard looked real - Oh, hang on..... http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2436087.ece http://www.fotosearch.com/SIX116/047pe1/ This isn't even a stock site - they nicked it... This comes from the Daily Mail and is labeled as 'file picture', which you would assume means they own the usage rights http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-503126/165-000-asylum-seekers-amnesty-Home-Office-blunder-files.htm All solved! The family on the front is a BNP shot http://www.hopenothate.org.uk/news/article:904-People-like-him-voting-BNP Begs a question. Is this a violation of iStock rules and if so, what are they going to do about it? http://www.istockphoto.com/license_comparison.php and with their history of support for the British Union of Fascists, the Daily Mail must find this a tad embarrassing, so it will interesting to see if they will, or even want to do something to distance themselves. Anyway, this is me talking again now - it amuses me that they will use these images to try and manipulate people into thinking what they want them to think - its a cynical ploy in my opinion. I will be scrutinising the rest of the shabby lot that come through my door

Its Been a Few Months!

Hello! Its been a few months since my last post, and I have had a few people prodding me into writing some more stuff.

So, what have I been up to?

Its been very hectic. We have the impending birth of Lana Sandra Ellen Taylor, on the 26th July, or so the Doctors say. The Doctors also said i was due on 27th July 1970, but I hung around until the 30th, so perhaps Lana will do the same. Either way, its all very exciting for me. I can hardly wait. We have been doing up the house, turning it into a four bedroomed + 2 bathroomed place, so thats nearly done

I have been buying loads of stuff for her too, which all costs money, so being out of work at the moment is not particularly helpful! My contract ended on 1st April, and I have been searching ever since - bugger! Anyway, hopefully something will come along soon

Any way, I promise to write more (You know who you are!)