This Guy is Great

Drinking With Bob Speaks the Truth. Mike says watching him is like going for a drink with me!

My new Sofa Covers

Just had the sofa's in my conservatory re-covered. I bought the sofa's 9 years ago second hand for £25, and had them covered in cream. Now they have been re-done in the colours you see here. I think you'll agree they look nice, and were well worth the £25 quid I shelled out for them!

Mikes Stag Do

Last weekend a few of us took off for Brandy Wharf, for Mikes Stag do. We had decided to go clay pigeon shooting, which was great, and we camped right next door to the pub! Winner!

Even the weather was great - the first time in about 3 or 4 years I have been camping and haven't slept in a puddle

The pigeon shoot was great - some thing I have never done before, which was evident when the scores came in! I came second to last, having only managing to hit 7 clays. Gaz came first - he only missed about 1. Hes done it before though.

Anyway, here are a few select pictures...


Heres my tent - the beast!


Mike & Iain - tents up, beers down!


Mike takes a pretend dump in my tent, I hope!


This was my Pod. Camp bed, and 'Salmon' coloured duvet. Its Salmon, ok? Not pink


Mike Shows off his fake tat


Eddy, tough guy


Me, becoming atomic'ed

Mike showing his Frisby skills


So, when i pass out, they play extreme Jenga on my head!

Eddy goes first. He missed all but one!

Gaz's Gun

Alex

Mike

I like this pic, cos you can see the cartridge being ejected

Bazza looking pensive


Yes, these were the toilets at the range!

After the shoot, we sat around chatting for a while before hitting the pub

Gaz celebrates his win


Baz



Goolag and James

On the approach to the Cider centre


Brandy Wharf. Warm weather brings out the crowds
Apparently Wharf is an acronym for 'WhareHouse Along River Front'


Mikes anti vegatarian t shirt :-)


Mike drank cherry and apple cider from a goblet


A great time was had by all, and Mike got away without loosing one single eye brow or pube!
We bought him a deadly cocktail at the endof the night consisting of 5 different shots! This seemed to finish him off :-)

There was a drunk guy who kept coming over and chatting with us. He was from Hull, and was an alcoholic. I am so glad I am not an alcoholic. First time he came over, it was 7:30am, and he had an almost empty bottle of vodka. He was pissed out of his head, and was just generally chatting nonsense. Then he returned at 2:30pm with a second bottle of vodka, that he had drunk most of. I realised now that he was only coming over to speak to us, because he saw we has a lot of beer and cider between us, so he was trying to grift drinks.

He turned up on the Sunday morning at around 6:30, without any vodka, and started to drink all the stale left overs (with flies in!) from the night before - grim. Then he drank most of Mikes Frosty Jacks, and in his slurred speech, asking if I was a 'morning drinker'

No I replied, thank f*ck!

The whole weekend was so lovely, weather wise, and very relaxed. I know Mikes girlfriend Debbie was a bit nervous about what Mike happen to him, but now she only has my best man speech to worry about!

I Dreamed a Dream.......

Recently I noticed the uncanny resemblance between X-Factor runner up, Susan Boyle, and legendary 2-pot screamer, Bazza!

Barry
Susan

Uncanny isn't it?! Even more uncanny is this 'photo fit'....



So there you have it - I reckon Bazza is in fact, SuBo!

Raging Against the Machine!

On 12th May, I decided to sign on.

Have you ever tried to do that? I thought I'd do it online, so I didn't have to go into town. To cut a long story short, 'they', the 'machine' screwed it up. Personally I think what happened is, is that they don't train the people who are meant to deal with such requests properly.

So, after hearing nothing, I went in on 20th May.

After wasting an entire morning re-filling in all the information that they lost, my claim went in. As of today, 8th June, I have received not one penny from them!

So I decided to give them a call to figure out what was going on.

0845 608 8532 option 2. This started at 12:30

Its now 16:40!

You keep getting the 'Im sorry none of our operators are available to take your call, please try later'

But occasionally, for no reason *what-so-ever* the phone system decides to put you through to a random department! Seriously, Im not joking! So then you have to start all over again!

By 3pm, I had decided to go into the job centre to use their phones - why should it cost me?! I got through to 3 random departments in the space of one and a half hours!

So, after wasting an entire afternoon trying to get some cash, I have managed to get absolutely nowhere!

I spoke to one of the 'drones from sector 7G' and they have taken my phone number (which they already have in triplicate!) so the benefits people can call me

I now completely understand why people get amazingly fucked off with 'the system'. And it is entirely the system I am frustrated with.

Let me explain...

Usually, there is some kind of 'hate figure' or 'bogey man' I can focus my anger on, but in this case the staff in the centre are absolutely great, there isn't one person who hasn't been polite or bent over backwards to help me. Even the people on the phone today agreed entirely with me that the phone system was unbelievable.

It is the unseen 'system' that they try and operate within that is the problem. I can't even vent my anger against an unseen entity - or even stick pins in it and invoke voodoo curses - 'they' have really thought this through!

6 More Weeks

I can hardly believe that in 6 weeks time I will be a dad! From the scan, we have been told that 'it' is a girl, so we have decided to name her Lana Sandra Ellen Taylor, Sandra comes from my mum, and Ellen is from my grandma.

We have been converting the house into a 4 bedroom place with 2 bathrooms now. However, not having a job, is making it more than a bit hard to get it all done in time, I just hope I can find another job before 26th July, which is when Lana is due

26th July is also when 2 of my friends are also expecting - I can't believe we are all due on the same day!

Prevention is Better than a Cure

Wouldn't it make total sense if the NHS could prescribe physical exercise?

I was talking to my sister about this today. She reckoned it would be great if the NHS paid for her to have weekly gym sessions, as exercise has been linked to enhancing peoples moods, and contributing to an overall sense of well being.

For me too, I am managing my diabetes with diet and exercise, so surely it would be prudent for the NHS to pay towards my gym membership.

I can hear you all now, howling 'No Way! pay for it yourself!', and to a degree I was playing Devils Advocate, and Im sure if I went to my Dr he would say something along the lines of

'Nice try, Mr Taylor, now piss off, I have work to do'

However, imagine if I was a woman, and went to him, crying and wanting bigger tits. They would pay!

It seems to me the NHS forks out for stuff that isn't necessarily a medical condition, whereas, someone with depression or diabetes could really benefit from an NHS funded gym

Rant over!

Thought of the Day

If all these fraudsters we call MP's are making 'honest mistakes' or 'accounting oversights' with their expense claims, why the hell would we trust them to put the economy back on track?

Furthermore, is it any wonder the economy is so fucked up when these sheisters have been in charge of it?!

Role on the election...