Just Not Cricket

Tomorrow I was supposed to be going down to Worcester to watch the 20Twenty cricket at New Road. I usually go every year with my old work mates, and my dad has always wanted to go and watch a cricket match. So I thought it would be a great idea to get a ticket for him for fathers day.

What could be better? Mid-summer, cricket in Worcester with the Cathedral in the background, strawberries, champagne, beer :-)

The pictures below give some clues as to why we wont be bothering...


























Managed to get tickets for the Waddington airshow this weekend. it should be really good. There will be fly pasts from a Hurricane, Tornado & a Spitfire. And thats just the weather forecast! Im sure the planes will be good to :-)

I'll take some pictures - I imagine that they wont be putting any classified black projects on display, so i assume I can post the images...

This Is The Week That Is

What an extraordinay week it is this week. If you listen to the media and sycophantic arse licking ex-politico's you would think that Tony Blair was some kind of saviour of man kind.

Just like the rubbish floating away in the gutters of Yorkshire, so too the flotsum and jetsum will be moving out of Downing street tomorrow.

Good riddance I say...

Just goes to show, even if you're an absolute repugnant ar$e hole, like Blair, with the right amount of spin, you to can be popular once every sheffield flood

Global Warming?

I don't know about anyone else, but I am utterly sick to death of hearing about global warming and the impending doom this planet is facing.

Im never one to trust any snivelling little bastard politician who tells me to do as he says, not as he does. Especially when he tells me that its going to cost more to drive my car or take a plane trip.

So I decided to have a look at global temperatures over the last few hundred years. As you can see from the graph below, it makes for interesting reading...











It would indeed seem to indicate that temperatures are rising (well at least in central England anyway)

On closer inspection, it seems that the 5 year mean temperature has shot up, but look at the fluctuations of the annual mean.

So, what caused the Little Ice Age? Imagine if that happened now...politicians would be screaming for us to burn more fossil fuels! And judging by this graph, the world has had heat waves before some cad built an internal combustion engine, or had even thought about a coal fired power station.

Why was it so cold after the industrial revolution, when you would imagine there would be much more pollution than there is today, which you would have expected to be in the atmosphere trapping all the heat inside (just like they reckon happens now)

I'll tell you what I think. The graph points out that the global warming scare started in the late 80's. Since this time, a hell of a lot of the rain forests had been cut down, which in turn reduced the worlds biggest CO2 sink. This in turn has lead to the atmosphere having to deal with more green house gasses, which has lead to a bit of a warming up.

However, the politicians see this has a fab opportunity to tax us even more for flights, cars etc. I wonder if Blair's final farewell tour around the world was 'carbon neutral'

Do as he says, people, not as he does....

Voices from the Past

When I was about 13 or maybe 14, at school we were learning about Hitlers rise to power and the subsequent world war that followed.

For my project I wrote about Hull in the blitz and how it affected the people who lived through it. As my Grandma lived on Hessle road at the time of the war, I reckoned she would give a pretty good eye witness account of the time, so I set about recording an interview with her about it.

Well, the tape has turned up again in some boxes at my mam and dads, so Im quite looking forward to listening to it after all this time! I just need to sort my tape player out...hadn't anybody heard of MP3 in 1983? Tsch...!

(By the way, any of the family who is interested in hearing it, let me know)

Dorset Naga-saki

Anyone who knows me, knows that I love chilli's. No, not the American restaurant chain, but the heat filled edible varieties. Unless of course, the sauce is smeared in my swimming shorts leaving my 'old chap' hot, and not in a sexy way (more about this story in another blog post one day!)

Anyway, enough of the painful memories...this year I am growing some scotch bonnet chilli's, and thanks to a colleague of mine (thanks for the title idea, Kev!) this year I am also growing some Dorset Naga (www.dorsetnaga.com) These evil things come in at around 1 million scoville units, which makes them the hottest chilli's in the world.

I am going to make some sort of dish with them once they mature, any idea's for what I should make?

Digger Pics

As promised here are some pictures of the digger weekend.
















This one was taken at the end of the first day

















Carol actually managed to tip the digger up! Her face was quite a picture when she knew it was going over!
















The whole of the dug out section is going to be graveled, and a shubbery planted by the grass. Just need to be able to afford it all now!

Composting

My composting bin turned up yesterday, and Ive placed it on my veggie patch. It was interesting to read about what you can and can't put in there - nail clippings, hair etc

I was going to shred my Babylon Zoo CD and compost it, but then I read you're not supposed to compost human excrement :-D

Oh well, there's always my coal fire....

Its Hot in Topeka

This is a clip from Fosters Home for Imaginary friends. Everyone in the house has gone to the beach, leaving Bloo on his own. He's bored. This clip just strikes a chord with me, cos I do similar things when Im bored *ahem* except for the makeup bit!

Busy Busy Busy!

Seems like ages since I last posted anything...Its not like I haven't had anything to write about! A couple of weeks ago, I was in Northern Ireland on a course. I was in Derry, and its quite hard to believe that just a few years ago the whole place had such troubles

Last weekend, Tony came over, and I hired a digger. Me, Carol and Tony spent the entire weekend digging out the driveway. It looks really good now - it'll look even better when its graveled etc. We were all totally knackered afterwards! I have pictures on my phone - just need to have some time to download them and post them.

Wednesday sees the start of Big Brother. I know I shouldn't watch it, but I know that I will just get suckered in.


A new series of 'Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends' starts next weekend. I know its just a cartoon, but its the best thing on TV at the moment, in my opinion! The plot revolves around Blooregard Q Kazoo (see picture) and his creator, Mac, an 8 year old lad.






Anyway, thats all for now - pictures and more to follow next week!

Not Long Now!

Well, if all the reports and pundits are correct, we can look forward to that smarmy bastard Blair leaving Number 10 this week - maybe even tomorrow!

I can't wait.

I think I will be celebrating when he's gone - I already have the wine chilling in the fridge (white wine obviously, its only my dad that chills red!) Its lucky that I have a fairly well paid job, otherwise I wouldn't be able to afford such items. 'Tax-It-All' Brown has increased the duty on alchol and the like to the hilt over his tenure as Chancellor. I can hardly wait to see how he eff's things up as PM.

In my opinion, he should call an election straight away, that way he would have a mandate to be PM. Somehow, I don't think doing the honourable thing is what Brown is about.

Voting

Well, I cast my vote in the local elections at 7:20am this morning. No prizes for guessing which party *didn't* get my vote!

However, it got me thinking. These are local elections, about local issues, but I would bet my bottom dollar that most people who vote today will use their votes as a vote of 'no confidence' in the three main parties. Ah well, as long as Bluergh gets a good kicking!

Ah well, at least he wont be PM much longer. Im going to have a party when he eff's off! I can't wait, then we'll have the inspiringly named Brown for a few months before he gets booted out

Mii and the Wii

My neighbor, Carol, has recently bought a Nintendo Wii. At first I thought the games on them would just be gimmicky and very similar to the PS2 Eyetoy. Don't get me wrong, the eyetoy has some great games, but the Wii surpasses them on every level!

My favorite game is Wii sports. The baseball games on this are totally great, and the tennis games come in a close second, in my opinion. I'm rubbish at bowling, so thats last on my list :-p
The golf is probably the hardest, and the boxing doesn't quite float my boat.

With the Wii, you also get to create your own character, or Avatar. Here is mine :-


Handsome devil, don't ya think? :-) I decided to put a hat on him, because I made him just after I came back from snowboarding, also there isn't the right level of 'hair loss' to create a the right image (Its either William Hague i.e a little hair at the side, or a full blown 'Britney Spears' There is no 'Monk chic' level of hair) Anyway, I think it captures the essence of me (or should I say Mii?)

This is Carol's Mii...


For fun, and to scare the kids off the Wii, I decided to conjour up a Michael 'Jesus Juice' Jackson Mii. Uncanny eh? :-D

There is an option on the sports game to do a fitness check every day. It puts you through your paces and then scores your fitness level. I started off with a fitness level of about 83, but now I'm down to 29 - its very addictive!

There is a Wario game, which is just weird. Wario is basically an evil Mario character on acid. You have to do lots of, frankly, bizarre tasks. I imagine you also have to do lots of drugs too to truly appreciate it.

Carol has Mario Kart too, which I haven't played yet, but it is one of my favorite Nintendo games

Well, Im off to do my fitness!

Trade Description Act

I bought a lottery ticket the other day, on the off chance of scooping a cool 8 million big ones. I got to the shop, and because Im a relatively lazy so-and-so, I decided just to get a lucky dip. Basically, what Im saying is "Well Camelot, I'll take your huge jackpot, but Im not prepared to take some time thinking about 6 numbers"

For the last few days I have been buoyed up by my impending jackpot win. It was a lucky dip...what could possibly go wrong? Lucky, to me, implies 'dead cert', a 'sure thing'. So I have been going around mentally spending the 8 million.

I would hire a Global Express executive jet to take me and a lucky few to some exotic remote island, where we would spend the next month living an idylic party life style.

Then I would go somewhere skiing, and spend the next month living an idylic party life style...

You get the impression...

So, imagine my surprise when checking my 'Lucky' numbers to find I didn't get one sodding number! Lucky Dip, my arse! I feel I have a good case to sue Camelot - what the hell is so lucky about not getting one friggin' number??

They should rename this tickets to 'A 13.8 million in one chance Dip' or, more acurately 'Not a chance in Hell Dip'

And the people who win these enormous jackpots - pah! The all say the same thing:

"Despite clearly having more money than sense, I wont give up work"

and

"It wont change me"

All that money is wasted on these people! Have some imagination! Give it to me and watch a guy having a great time!

Anyone know any good lawyers willing to do Pro Bono work? After all I don't have any money to pay them!

Another Scoop!

Well, not only did I pre-empt the 'Poppies & the Morphine' story a few months back, but it seems the government has been reading this blog again....

I refer of course, to the 'Tough on Crime' post below. The only thing I got wrong was the age. I said the '78 year old lady' She was actually 81!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/south_east/6566131.stm

Well she did seem to be in contempt of court, and make her neighbours life hell, but c'mon! One minute we're hearing about how full the prisons are, and the next we're locking up old biddies!

Well, at least we're being tough on crime, eh Tony? :-D

Is This the End of Men?

Well scientists can now produce sperm cells from bone marrow. How amazing is that? They take stem cells from the marrow and tell them to turn into sperm cells. They will then inject the sperm into the bollocks, and Bobs your aunties live in lover, as it were.

I imagine it will be as painful as it sounds.

They foresee this technology being used to help men who are infertile (eg after chemotherapy) to become fertile again.

I reckon women will want to use this technology to have their own children too. As I see it:

Two 'lady friends' who want a child
One 'lady friend' donates an egg, the other one donates some bone marrow. Voila, men need not apply.

Would that scenario even be possible??

Would it be possible for a woman to donate an egg *and* bone marrow and be able to reproduce without a second party? So, in theory, a virgin birth might be possible...

The mind truly boggles!