More Vitamin A for Me, Please

I was reading the latest pile of bullshit study thats come out in the medical world (well actually Copenhagen Students), and was amazed to read:

"The researchers linked vitamin A supplements to a 16% increased risk of dying."

Fuck me, did I read that right?? As things are at the moment, I have a 100% chance of dying. So let me get this right, Dr Twat...If I eat a few carrots, I can reduce my chance of dying to only 16%??

Thats amazing...I think I'll pop down to Tesco's and stock up on Vitamin A pills and a load of Organic carrots (after all, one recent study said organic was miles better for us!)

Research Students, eh? What a bunch of stupid bastards!

Note To Self

Whenever I go around to Tony's again, make sure I remember to pack all my stuff...

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Original-Mark-Taylor-Jumper_W0QQitemZ160229344456QQihZ006QQcategoryZ313QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

So, as you can see, I am a pretty fashionable dude. I think Tony does a good job modeling the garment in the eBay picture!

Just in case you are thinking of bidding on it, I think its only fair to fill in some of the history, so you can see just what great pedigree it has come from.

I acquired the jumper around the turn of the century, but before that it was owned by one John Lennon, who is said to have written 'Help' while wearing it.

Before Mr Lennon owned it, it was reputed to be the favourite item of clothing of Mr Steve McQueen, and if you look closely, you will recognize the very same jumper in the famous motor cycle scene in the Great Escape.

However, after a drunken Friday night around a friends house, Steve McQueen left the jumper in the cats bedding, and never saw it again. Rumour has it, that, eager to cash in on celebrity, McQueens friend sold it to a traveling salesman on his way to Liverpool...

The trail of ownership goes cold now for several decades, however, it is known that while posing for the 'Your Country Needs You' posters, Lord Kitchener kept warm by wearing the very jumper that you can now bid on, on eBay....

What are you waiting for????!

Oh I Found This

I was going through some of my old files the other day, and I came across this video of when I went to the shooting range in Texas.

If you remember I told you how rubbish I was with a gun. i think this video proves it. Look for the plume of sand at the side as i miss the target by a mile!




Yes, before anyone mentions it, I am losing my hair - get over it!

Down the Gym

I was down the gym tonight. I had a good work out - 1.5 miles in under 12 mins (11 57 to be precise) not quick, but would still pass the military fitness test (yes even at my age!) Did the cross trainer too and then did about 20 minutes of weights.

Anyway...does this scenario piss anyone else off as much as it pisses me off?

I finish at about 8pm, and i go into the changing rooms to my locker - Number one out of about 300. There is only one other guy in the *entire* volumious changing room, and he's naked, and he has locker number 2

Fuck....

He doesnt seem to be bothered that he's nekkid and Im at my locker, in fact he seems to be enjoying towelling himself off (thats not a eupemisim for anything 'wrong' in a public place)

So, I get my stuff out of my locker and move over to the other side of the changing room.

Some fat bastard walks in from the shower area, wrapped in a towel, and guess where he pitches up???

For fucks sake!

Anyway, I dry myself off, get changed and naff off.

Am I wrong to be miffed by this?

The Lewis Hamilton of Malvern

Went down to Malvern on Friday to go carting on Saturday at Hereford carting (See the link here http://www.herefordshireraceway.org.uk/)

Stayed over at Tony and Gill's on Friday night and we had a lovely evening - Gill cooked and we sat around chatting. Thom (pictured here) is Gill and Tony's son, and he delighted in winding me up about how he was going to beat me (Hmm, or was it me winding him up?) Anyway, we got to the race track and it was lovely and sunny, despite the forecast of wintery showers. There were 15 of us, most of which were poeople I used to work with, so it was great to see them all again.

Here's a group photo of us all. Note Barry 'the Ninja' at the front - Im next to him with the blue crash helmet ,and Carol is next to me with the silver helmet.

We had a couple of warm up laps and then it was into the main racing. Out of four qualifying races, I came 2nd, 1st, 1st, 4th., which got me a place in the semi finals (the 3 of the four finals)

However, towards the end of the day, we had hail and snow! So, as you can imagine, this made for pretty bad driving conditions! In my final race, as tried to cut 3 other drivers up on the first bend, but came a little unstuck - to say the least! To cut a long story short, I ended up 'cutting the grass' a lot - oh and swearing a bit too.

Anyway, all the banter, and wind up's I had directed at Thom (he's 14, I should have known better, but he taunted me just as much back!) came back to haunt me, as I relised he had made it into the final. There was no way he could win, I assured myself, but I turned out to be wrong! In fact it was a podium 1 and 3 for the Culshaw family, as Tony came in third. Anyway, heres the pics of them collecting their trophy's. Well done Thom! I expect I am *never* going to hear the last of this! Thom collects his trophy...Tony is overly emotional collecting his gong :-)

On one of the laps I was came first on, I decided I was so far in front I would try and beat the lap record, as I was so cock sure I could win the bottle of champagne on offer for the fastest time. However, this photograph shows Chris got around in 25 point something seconds...rats! I felt sure my name was on that bottle of Spumanti!

Oh well, I was robbed!

...And Relax

After a pretty hectic week at work (I have been in Crawley for 3 days this week), its nice to relax at the weekend.

So, how have I been relaxing? Well, nothing really very special...last night watched mythbusters with a couple of glasses of wine (white, cos I like to think summer is on the way)

This morning, I did my VAT tax return online, so Alistar Darling will have a few more quid to prop up the global economy. The 'credit crunch' situation does make me laugh a little. This has been on the horizon for years, so why should it be such a shock now? I, for one, has been predicting it for about 5 years (I knew I would have to be right some day!)

I watched 'Hancock and Joan' too. This was the second part of the 'Curse of Comedy' season, that explores the lives of some of the greatest British comedy talents. The first one was Steptoe and Son. Tony Hancock is one of my all time favorite comedians ( I was the youngest member of the Tony Hancock Appreciation Society when I was 11!), and I knew quite a bit about the story before I watched it. Never the less, it was really well portrayed by Ken Stott.

This afternoon I went to the gym and did 50 mins of cardio, then 10 minutes of weights (biceps, triceps and abs) then I swam 10 lengths of the pool

Relaxing is great :-)

The Face

Eager to cash in on all these fake 'Is this the face of Jesus on my piece of toast' stories, I would like to ask, "Is this the face of Jesus in my Yorkshire Pudding?"

This is exactly as it came out of the oven, and I think Jesus is trying to appear to the world on this cold Easter weekend.

Anyone wishing to buy this miracle of flour egg and milk, will be out of luck. However, it did taste delicious :-)

Happy Easter!

Weather Stuff

Check out the link on the Carol Kirkwood post - looks like a really well written blog

http://caughtinthemiddleman.wordpress.com/2008/03/12/whatever-happened-to-the-news/

Anyway, heard a nice snippet on Radio 4 tonight (on the 5 hour drive home) about the weather. Apparently, if we have a nice/dry April, statistically we are more likely to have a shit summer (remember last years hot April?? Temps in the high 20's I remember)

So I am praying for a shit April this year!

The Duchess and the Fat Folk

So, the Duchess of York will be 'slumming' it in Hull, teaching the great unwashed of Preston Road Estate, how to eat properly, and how to get off benefits.

Thats not patronising at all is it? :-)

Lets face it, she was 10 million sheets in the red, so she wrote a book or two, went on Oprah, and appeared in a Sitcom, and generally traded on her Royal connections. A year later - boom! - shes sat on a fortune. Thats not really an option available to these members of the public, is it?

I imagine the folk of Bransholme will be moaning about how the Duchess is living the high life on Preston Road

What can we expect next....? Well I imagine we can expect Angelina Jolie and Madona jockying at Paragon station to be the first to adopt a Hull person! Or perhaps Paris Hilton carrying a Hull person in her shoulder bag

Good grief...

A Profound Question

Im 38 this year, and as a member of the Taylor family, Im doing rather well at keeping my hair. I don't claim to have a full head of hair - far from it. Its starting to go, and at the right angle I could be mistaken for a monk.

So this is my profound question.

Why is it that if you find one hair on your chest/back/shoulder/arm, and you cut that hair, within one month, it will be back with about 10,000 of its buddies. And before you know it, you resemble a werewolf?

However, the hair on your head doesnt follow this simple rule?? Why, God Why? Give a balding guy a break :-)

Dear Carol Kirkwood

This is an open post to weather girl Carol Kirkwood :-)

"Dear Ms Kirkwood

So far this year we have had to suffer gales, frost, floods and even an earth quake. So this summer would it be too much to ask for us to be able to 'suffer' a prolonged heatwave? Perhaps beginning in early June and not relenting until mid October?

It would be great wouldn't it?

"Oh no, 35 degrees again today - what shall we do? POOL PARTY!!!"

So please Ms Kirkwood, lets have some heat this year"

Harry

So Prince Harry has been fighting the Taliban in Afghanistan. Well good for him. So has every other soldier that has been trained and deployed.

So what makes Harry any different? Nothing. As tax payers we should be glad that a soldier who has gone through the expensive Sandhurst training is now fighting for his country.

From what I have seen in the media reports, the third in line to the throne is in hog heaven doing what he has always wanted to do. I am of the opinion that he should be allowed to stay until his tour is over. I just hope some of the software and new technology he's using over there is doing what its supposed to :-)

Shame on the grudge website for blowing his cover.

Earth Quake!

I was woke up at 12:55am this morning, and I thought, blimey, the wind is a bit strong, but then it seemed to go on too long for wind, and the room seemed to be shaking.

I looked outside and saw that all was calm. I went back to sleep, thinking it must have been an earth quake.

Turns out it was! 5.3 on the richter scale - way to cheat death, dude!

Seeds of Doubt

This week sees the formal opening of a vault designed to protect and preserve samples of valuable seeds. The "Doomsday" vault in Svalbard can store more than four million batches of seeds, including the world's major crop varieties.

This vault is dug 200 metres into the Permafrost of Norway, and will remain at a constant -20 degrees centigrade.

Well thats just great.

Our politicians are always banging on at us about global warming, and using these lies to tax us more and more. We are bombarded on an almost weekly basis about how the ice caps are melting, and we all face doom.

So they decide to keep the worlds seed bank in a load of ice!

Can you see where im going with this?! If we believe the world leaders, the ice will soon melt away, so whats the point of having this vault in the permafrost?!

A Card on Valentines Day

A card on valentines day...not an unusual thing for a good looking fella like myself, I hear you say (!)

Well that would be true, but I was in Crawley that day, and I phoned home. Carol informed me that I had a card from Australia, and she assured me it wasn't from her :-)

When I got home that night I opened the card and was pleased to find out it was a belated christmas card from my friends Karyn and Jason and their son Xander in Sydney.

In 1997, I worked in Sydney at IBM in Lane Cove. Jaon was my shift leader, and Karyn was my counter-part on the opposite shift. To cut a long story short, they got together, and then came over to the UK and stayed at my place in London for a couple of months and spent christmas in Hull at my mum and dads.

I havent seen them in ages, and I have meant to write, but havent quite got around to it :-)

Anyway, I e mailed them tonight, and I expect they will probably be browsing these pages sometime soon...so Hi Karyn, Jason & Xander. Sorry be so lame at keeping touch!