Mii and the Wii

My neighbor, Carol, has recently bought a Nintendo Wii. At first I thought the games on them would just be gimmicky and very similar to the PS2 Eyetoy. Don't get me wrong, the eyetoy has some great games, but the Wii surpasses them on every level!

My favorite game is Wii sports. The baseball games on this are totally great, and the tennis games come in a close second, in my opinion. I'm rubbish at bowling, so thats last on my list :-p
The golf is probably the hardest, and the boxing doesn't quite float my boat.

With the Wii, you also get to create your own character, or Avatar. Here is mine :-


Handsome devil, don't ya think? :-) I decided to put a hat on him, because I made him just after I came back from snowboarding, also there isn't the right level of 'hair loss' to create a the right image (Its either William Hague i.e a little hair at the side, or a full blown 'Britney Spears' There is no 'Monk chic' level of hair) Anyway, I think it captures the essence of me (or should I say Mii?)

This is Carol's Mii...


For fun, and to scare the kids off the Wii, I decided to conjour up a Michael 'Jesus Juice' Jackson Mii. Uncanny eh? :-D

There is an option on the sports game to do a fitness check every day. It puts you through your paces and then scores your fitness level. I started off with a fitness level of about 83, but now I'm down to 29 - its very addictive!

There is a Wario game, which is just weird. Wario is basically an evil Mario character on acid. You have to do lots of, frankly, bizarre tasks. I imagine you also have to do lots of drugs too to truly appreciate it.

Carol has Mario Kart too, which I haven't played yet, but it is one of my favorite Nintendo games

Well, Im off to do my fitness!

Trade Description Act

I bought a lottery ticket the other day, on the off chance of scooping a cool 8 million big ones. I got to the shop, and because Im a relatively lazy so-and-so, I decided just to get a lucky dip. Basically, what Im saying is "Well Camelot, I'll take your huge jackpot, but Im not prepared to take some time thinking about 6 numbers"

For the last few days I have been buoyed up by my impending jackpot win. It was a lucky dip...what could possibly go wrong? Lucky, to me, implies 'dead cert', a 'sure thing'. So I have been going around mentally spending the 8 million.

I would hire a Global Express executive jet to take me and a lucky few to some exotic remote island, where we would spend the next month living an idylic party life style.

Then I would go somewhere skiing, and spend the next month living an idylic party life style...

You get the impression...

So, imagine my surprise when checking my 'Lucky' numbers to find I didn't get one sodding number! Lucky Dip, my arse! I feel I have a good case to sue Camelot - what the hell is so lucky about not getting one friggin' number??

They should rename this tickets to 'A 13.8 million in one chance Dip' or, more acurately 'Not a chance in Hell Dip'

And the people who win these enormous jackpots - pah! The all say the same thing:

"Despite clearly having more money than sense, I wont give up work"

and

"It wont change me"

All that money is wasted on these people! Have some imagination! Give it to me and watch a guy having a great time!

Anyone know any good lawyers willing to do Pro Bono work? After all I don't have any money to pay them!

Another Scoop!

Well, not only did I pre-empt the 'Poppies & the Morphine' story a few months back, but it seems the government has been reading this blog again....

I refer of course, to the 'Tough on Crime' post below. The only thing I got wrong was the age. I said the '78 year old lady' She was actually 81!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/south_east/6566131.stm

Well she did seem to be in contempt of court, and make her neighbours life hell, but c'mon! One minute we're hearing about how full the prisons are, and the next we're locking up old biddies!

Well, at least we're being tough on crime, eh Tony? :-D

Is This the End of Men?

Well scientists can now produce sperm cells from bone marrow. How amazing is that? They take stem cells from the marrow and tell them to turn into sperm cells. They will then inject the sperm into the bollocks, and Bobs your aunties live in lover, as it were.

I imagine it will be as painful as it sounds.

They foresee this technology being used to help men who are infertile (eg after chemotherapy) to become fertile again.

I reckon women will want to use this technology to have their own children too. As I see it:

Two 'lady friends' who want a child
One 'lady friend' donates an egg, the other one donates some bone marrow. Voila, men need not apply.

Would that scenario even be possible??

Would it be possible for a woman to donate an egg *and* bone marrow and be able to reproduce without a second party? So, in theory, a virgin birth might be possible...

The mind truly boggles!

Bus Driver

I read here about a bus driver who made an amputee remove both his legs to prove he was disabled, and therefore entitled to his free bus pass...I bet the poor guy was hopping mad.

Anyway, for one minute I thought it was Phillip :-D I wouldn't have put it past him!