I remember some strange things from my childhood. The first thing I will share with you is when my uncle, who is a public health inspector, took me out in his new car once. He had a small cardboard box on his back seat, that had the words "Pathalogical Specimen" written on it. I was about 12 years old and naturally curious...
"Whats a Pathalogical Specimen, Uncle Paul?"
"Why don't you open it and find out, Mark"
"Can I? Am I allowed?"
"Yes of course"
At this point, I really should have known better, as my uncle had a massive grin on his face, but anyway, I opened the box....
"Its something wrapped in tissue, Uncle Paul"
"Yea, well unwrap the tissue then Mark" Sniggers eminating from my uncle....
This curious 12 year old unwrapped the tissue, to reveal a solid turd. Of course I screamed and my uncle laughed uncontrollably. Turns out it was some food poisioning investigation that had been carried out. Is there any fecking wonder I never trust anyone? :-D
Anyway...the next random thought I remembered today was when I was even younger, probably about 8, 9 or 10. I think this was a lesson learnt to always know the meaning of words, or be wary of people using 'linguistic garnish' to mask what they really mean.
My dad usually does the cooking in the Taylor household. Damn good at it he is too. But I can imagine how annoying it must be to have kids asking you 'whats for tea tonight Dad?' every 5 minutes. When he had had enough of answering this question he would usually reply:
"You're having Sh!t with sugar on - now bugger off"
This would usually annoy me and Id ask even more times.
One time, my mum was cooking the tea, and I wondered into the kitchen to find out what I could look forward to eating.....
"Whats for tea, mam?"
"Tonight Mark, you're having excrement with sugar on"
"Wow, really? I've never had that before. What that taste like?"
My mum fell about in gales of laughter...and I didnt know why.
Have these two incidents made me into the cynic I am today? Or have they made me more wary of what people tell me, and more likey to check things Im told?? I dunno, but they certainly made me laugh when I remembered them today!
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
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3 comments:
I'm sure there is some Freudian explaination as to why your childhood memories include faeces...
I have other childhood memories too, like the time I made my brother p!ss his pants laughing, as he climbed over a fence :-)
Maybe this explains my love of childish toilet humour?
nah, it just proves we know how to enjoy ourselves. i always remember the time (dont know if i mentioned it on here once) when a friend of mine who always wanted a sweet if anyone had any, was asked if he wanted the last bon bon. if anyone doesnt remember bon bons, they were a white powdery sweet. at this point i must ask if anyone remembers white dog shit, you used to see it around a lot in the 70s and 80s but you dont seem to see it much now, maybe its a change in the diet? anyway.......bon bon, white powdery sweet, white dog shit, need i say anymore?, always makes me giggle.
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