Was in a motorway service station yesterday on my way back from working in Wethersfield, when I looked up and saw Edwina Currie at the sandwich counter! She looked a bit smaller than when shes on TV causing egg scares, but it was definitely her!
The garage is coming on really well, I'll post some pics of it soon.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Blair saves man Commiting Suicide
Not Tony Blair (of course) but Lionel Blair. It seems he and Andy Carr had been filming on blackpool pier, when some asked for help saving some guy trying to chuck himself off the pier. Read the article here
I like to think that I probably inspired this moment of heroism. Bare with me, I (think) I can explain....
I met Lionel Blair once. He was appearing in some production at Malvern Theatres, and I was in the local branch of 'Bottoms Up' (oooer Missus) , an 'up market' offie (off licence) or Liquer Store if you're American, buying a four pack of cheap generic lager for a BBQ I was hosting later that day. Then low and behold, Mr Blair tap dances (not quite!) his way to the counter with a couple of bottles of champagne. I said hello to him and he acknowledged me. He probably was thinking "Oh my God, he isn't going to drink that muck, is he?? He must be some kind of suicidal case having to drink that cheap sh!t"
I like to think that after that meeting in Bottoms Up he went away experiencing a 'Dr Barnado's moment.' Dr Barnado started childrens homes in this country and one night had to turn away a red haired homeless boy called Jasper. Jasper died later that night for the want of a bed, and Barnado then held the principle of 'An Ever Open Door'
Anyway...Lionel, obviously wracked with guilt at leaving me to drink cheap sh!t lager, rescued that suicide case today, with the ghost of that poor b@stard he met in Bottoms Up in Malvern in the back of his mind.
Thats what I reckon anyway. You just dont get this kind of reporting on the BBC do you?
I like to think that I probably inspired this moment of heroism. Bare with me, I (think) I can explain....
I met Lionel Blair once. He was appearing in some production at Malvern Theatres, and I was in the local branch of 'Bottoms Up' (oooer Missus) , an 'up market' offie (off licence) or Liquer Store if you're American, buying a four pack of cheap generic lager for a BBQ I was hosting later that day. Then low and behold, Mr Blair tap dances (not quite!) his way to the counter with a couple of bottles of champagne. I said hello to him and he acknowledged me. He probably was thinking "Oh my God, he isn't going to drink that muck, is he?? He must be some kind of suicidal case having to drink that cheap sh!t"
I like to think that after that meeting in Bottoms Up he went away experiencing a 'Dr Barnado's moment.' Dr Barnado started childrens homes in this country and one night had to turn away a red haired homeless boy called Jasper. Jasper died later that night for the want of a bed, and Barnado then held the principle of 'An Ever Open Door'
Anyway...Lionel, obviously wracked with guilt at leaving me to drink cheap sh!t lager, rescued that suicide case today, with the ghost of that poor b@stard he met in Bottoms Up in Malvern in the back of his mind.
Thats what I reckon anyway. You just dont get this kind of reporting on the BBC do you?
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Richard Hammond
Just read that top gear presenter Richard Hammond has been critically injured in a jet powered car crash.
Do hope he's ok. He's on Brainiac too. I actually think he's smaller than me too
Lets hope he gets well...
Do hope he's ok. He's on Brainiac too. I actually think he's smaller than me too
Lets hope he gets well...
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Priceless!
Check out this link...I thought it was a wind up at first, but it turns out to be true!
The link
Enjoy...
The link
Enjoy...
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Pints!
Went out on Friday night with my brother at his local in Waddingham, Lincs. Saw the work he had done on his garage (yes we're both building garages at the same time!) He's building a double one, and he has laid the foundations and laid the first course of breeze blocks. It looks absolutely huge! I reckon its going to take him ages to finish it. I was round there today helping him move some soil, and once mine is finished I'll give him a hand, but he realises he's in for the long haul.
It was nice on Friday just to go and have a few pints with him. We got absolutely toasted! I think we had about 7 pints, and I dont really remember getting back to his place. But sometimes you just gotta have a few pints!
The rest of my weekend has been taken up with laying bricks...it really does get a bit boring after a while, and cutting my grass with shears, again, quite boring...but it has to be done. The grass looks really nice, and will look even better when its cut properly and thicker.
Im expecting to be out again in the states sometime soon, which will be nice. I think I'll get my xmas shopping out of the way while Im there. I hate xmas and the run up. If I had my way, I'd ban it. A couple of years ago I was in a Malvern branch of Somerfield on Haloween night and they were playing christmas songs. I complained to the 'manager' (who obviously couldn't manage his way out a paper bag without head offices say so) who said it was company policy and he couldn't do anything about it. I left my basket in the isle and went to Waitrose instead.
Bah Humbug....
It was nice on Friday just to go and have a few pints with him. We got absolutely toasted! I think we had about 7 pints, and I dont really remember getting back to his place. But sometimes you just gotta have a few pints!
The rest of my weekend has been taken up with laying bricks...it really does get a bit boring after a while, and cutting my grass with shears, again, quite boring...but it has to be done. The grass looks really nice, and will look even better when its cut properly and thicker.
Im expecting to be out again in the states sometime soon, which will be nice. I think I'll get my xmas shopping out of the way while Im there. I hate xmas and the run up. If I had my way, I'd ban it. A couple of years ago I was in a Malvern branch of Somerfield on Haloween night and they were playing christmas songs. I complained to the 'manager' (who obviously couldn't manage his way out a paper bag without head offices say so) who said it was company policy and he couldn't do anything about it. I left my basket in the isle and went to Waitrose instead.
Bah Humbug....
Friday, September 15, 2006
In The Mix
What a difference a concrete mixer makes to building a garage! I got hold of one on Wednesday and spent all day (I had the day off) building my garage. I started at 8:30 am and finished around about 6pm. I got loads done.
Previously, I had been mixing the cement by hand on a board, which makes for pretty back breaking work.
I could never be a bricky though...it really is too much like hard work! Sounds terrible doesnt it? But I was physically exhausted by 9:30 last night and in bed! I suppose its because Im not used to it, but quite frankly, give me a comfy office and some 'brain work' to do, rather than hard manual labour any day :-)
Previously, I had been mixing the cement by hand on a board, which makes for pretty back breaking work.
I could never be a bricky though...it really is too much like hard work! Sounds terrible doesnt it? But I was physically exhausted by 9:30 last night and in bed! I suppose its because Im not used to it, but quite frankly, give me a comfy office and some 'brain work' to do, rather than hard manual labour any day :-)
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Some Random Thoughts
I remember some strange things from my childhood. The first thing I will share with you is when my uncle, who is a public health inspector, took me out in his new car once. He had a small cardboard box on his back seat, that had the words "Pathalogical Specimen" written on it. I was about 12 years old and naturally curious...
"Whats a Pathalogical Specimen, Uncle Paul?"
"Why don't you open it and find out, Mark"
"Can I? Am I allowed?"
"Yes of course"
At this point, I really should have known better, as my uncle had a massive grin on his face, but anyway, I opened the box....
"Its something wrapped in tissue, Uncle Paul"
"Yea, well unwrap the tissue then Mark" Sniggers eminating from my uncle....
This curious 12 year old unwrapped the tissue, to reveal a solid turd. Of course I screamed and my uncle laughed uncontrollably. Turns out it was some food poisioning investigation that had been carried out. Is there any fecking wonder I never trust anyone? :-D
Anyway...the next random thought I remembered today was when I was even younger, probably about 8, 9 or 10. I think this was a lesson learnt to always know the meaning of words, or be wary of people using 'linguistic garnish' to mask what they really mean.
My dad usually does the cooking in the Taylor household. Damn good at it he is too. But I can imagine how annoying it must be to have kids asking you 'whats for tea tonight Dad?' every 5 minutes. When he had had enough of answering this question he would usually reply:
"You're having Sh!t with sugar on - now bugger off"
This would usually annoy me and Id ask even more times.
One time, my mum was cooking the tea, and I wondered into the kitchen to find out what I could look forward to eating.....
"Whats for tea, mam?"
"Tonight Mark, you're having excrement with sugar on"
"Wow, really? I've never had that before. What that taste like?"
My mum fell about in gales of laughter...and I didnt know why.
Have these two incidents made me into the cynic I am today? Or have they made me more wary of what people tell me, and more likey to check things Im told?? I dunno, but they certainly made me laugh when I remembered them today!
"Whats a Pathalogical Specimen, Uncle Paul?"
"Why don't you open it and find out, Mark"
"Can I? Am I allowed?"
"Yes of course"
At this point, I really should have known better, as my uncle had a massive grin on his face, but anyway, I opened the box....
"Its something wrapped in tissue, Uncle Paul"
"Yea, well unwrap the tissue then Mark" Sniggers eminating from my uncle....
This curious 12 year old unwrapped the tissue, to reveal a solid turd. Of course I screamed and my uncle laughed uncontrollably. Turns out it was some food poisioning investigation that had been carried out. Is there any fecking wonder I never trust anyone? :-D
Anyway...the next random thought I remembered today was when I was even younger, probably about 8, 9 or 10. I think this was a lesson learnt to always know the meaning of words, or be wary of people using 'linguistic garnish' to mask what they really mean.
My dad usually does the cooking in the Taylor household. Damn good at it he is too. But I can imagine how annoying it must be to have kids asking you 'whats for tea tonight Dad?' every 5 minutes. When he had had enough of answering this question he would usually reply:
"You're having Sh!t with sugar on - now bugger off"
This would usually annoy me and Id ask even more times.
One time, my mum was cooking the tea, and I wondered into the kitchen to find out what I could look forward to eating.....
"Whats for tea, mam?"
"Tonight Mark, you're having excrement with sugar on"
"Wow, really? I've never had that before. What that taste like?"
My mum fell about in gales of laughter...and I didnt know why.
Have these two incidents made me into the cynic I am today? Or have they made me more wary of what people tell me, and more likey to check things Im told?? I dunno, but they certainly made me laugh when I remembered them today!
Monday, September 11, 2006
The Weekend and Other Things
Last Thrusday my mum and dad came down for a rest. I told them to come over and neither of them were allowed to do anything. I took some time off with hours owed to me, and made sure that they did nothing!
On Friday I spent the entire day continuing the brick work on the garage. Im getting quite good now, although I must remember that if its sunny, I need to wear a hat or at least factor 50 sun screen. I am very red today and my face throbs in time to my heart beat.
On Saturday, I had an old flame, Tracey C, down for the weekend. I had got some tickets for the renault world series car malarky at Donnigton, so we planned to go there on Sunday. Tracey liked the house, but wasn't too sold on the bathroom, she reckons the jacuzzi bath is "Way too 80's" and the bidet is 'surplus to requirements'! Surely not?!
Anyway, you know Im always going on about how sh!te I am at directions and finding my way around? Well it is totally true...Sunday moring arrives and we head off for Donnington. I know its somewhere near the M42, so I head off that way. Anyway, about half an hour on the motorway Tracey points out that we're heading for Birmingham, which is in the opposite direction to Donnington.
Bugger....
"Do you fany Twycross Zoo instead?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"Yes but by the time we've turned around and recovered time, Donnington will be closed"
"Lets go and look at the monkeys then"
"A wise choice, luv"
It was nice there though, Id recommend it for anyone who has driven past Donnington and can't be arsed to turn around :-)
On Friday I spent the entire day continuing the brick work on the garage. Im getting quite good now, although I must remember that if its sunny, I need to wear a hat or at least factor 50 sun screen. I am very red today and my face throbs in time to my heart beat.
On Saturday, I had an old flame, Tracey C, down for the weekend. I had got some tickets for the renault world series car malarky at Donnigton, so we planned to go there on Sunday. Tracey liked the house, but wasn't too sold on the bathroom, she reckons the jacuzzi bath is "Way too 80's" and the bidet is 'surplus to requirements'! Surely not?!
Anyway, you know Im always going on about how sh!te I am at directions and finding my way around? Well it is totally true...Sunday moring arrives and we head off for Donnington. I know its somewhere near the M42, so I head off that way. Anyway, about half an hour on the motorway Tracey points out that we're heading for Birmingham, which is in the opposite direction to Donnington.
Bugger....
"Do you fany Twycross Zoo instead?"
"Do I have a choice?"
"Yes but by the time we've turned around and recovered time, Donnington will be closed"
"Lets go and look at the monkeys then"
"A wise choice, luv"
It was nice there though, Id recommend it for anyone who has driven past Donnington and can't be arsed to turn around :-)
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Garage
Following on from my building of the patio, work has now commenced on building my garage. I have five more courses of bricks to lay and then Im ready to get the roof on. I got the plans the other week from the council, and Im quite confident I can do it, however, others don't quite share my confidence in my building skills, but I'll show 'em!
The grass is coming up a treat now, and the garden/patio area just looks great. I have never been too good at maths, but see if you can get your head around this GCSE maths question - who said exams are getting easier?
"Mark is a tight wad and he wants to grass his lawn. Showing your working, which option should he go for to save the most money?"
Turf.....around £200
3 boxs of Grass Seed......£20
25 points"
I really cannot understand why people would turf their lawns. Ill post pics when I can be bothered to show that there is no difference in quality. I am a man with little or no patience, but for £180 Im willing to wait a week for my grass to show through :-)
The grass is coming up a treat now, and the garden/patio area just looks great. I have never been too good at maths, but see if you can get your head around this GCSE maths question - who said exams are getting easier?
"Mark is a tight wad and he wants to grass his lawn. Showing your working, which option should he go for to save the most money?"
Turf.....around £200
3 boxs of Grass Seed......£20
25 points"
I really cannot understand why people would turf their lawns. Ill post pics when I can be bothered to show that there is no difference in quality. I am a man with little or no patience, but for £180 Im willing to wait a week for my grass to show through :-)
Monday, September 04, 2006
Fish Oil Not So Good For You Then?
I woke up this morning to the shock news of Steve Irwins death.
But then it occured to me, why should I be shocked about the death of a guy who wrestles crocks, jabs snakes with a stick, and tries to 'out stare' tarantula's?
Seriously though, I was very saddened by his demise. This guy lit up the screen with his energy and enthusiasm, and he really was a joy to watch, and made the subject interesting and fascinating.
To be jabbed in the chest by a string-ray, is, by all expert accounts a very rare occurance to say the least. There are only 3 recorded cases *ever* of this happening. It just seems he was a guy in the wrong place at the wrong time (unless he was teasing it of course!)
Well, Ill miss him
Friday, September 01, 2006
Im Rubbish at Being Ill
I hate being ill. Female readers of this blog would probably even say I wasn't ill "You've just got a cold" I can hear them saying.
Believe me, I would not have chosen to be at home today, if I had known what TV delights awaited me :-(
I had coffee with Kyle - thats Jeremy Kyle, some show where people decide to air their dirty laundry on national TV
And right after that I took tea with Trisha (or Trasha, as I like to call her, because that, in some way, makes me feel better!), which is some show where people decide to air their dirty laundry on national TV. These programs are exactly the same! Why, O why would you choose to go on TV to decide the paternity of a child, or tell your brother or sister that you have been with their girlfriend/boyfriend?
Then of course, half way through, its compulsory that one of the people gets up and storms off, after pledging to control their temper.
It truly is car crash TV
Then I fell asleep. When I woke up, in the early afternoon, it would appear that the TV bandwidth is given over to house make-over programs, or garden make-over shows. But this just made my blood boil, because they have a troop of about 100 people all doing different things and they make over a place in about a day - its just not fair.
I fixed my playstation up in my bedroom and played Half Life. Then I slept again...
I wonder whats on the 'idiot box' tonight??
Believe me, I would not have chosen to be at home today, if I had known what TV delights awaited me :-(
I had coffee with Kyle - thats Jeremy Kyle, some show where people decide to air their dirty laundry on national TV
And right after that I took tea with Trisha (or Trasha, as I like to call her, because that, in some way, makes me feel better!), which is some show where people decide to air their dirty laundry on national TV. These programs are exactly the same! Why, O why would you choose to go on TV to decide the paternity of a child, or tell your brother or sister that you have been with their girlfriend/boyfriend?
Then of course, half way through, its compulsory that one of the people gets up and storms off, after pledging to control their temper.
It truly is car crash TV
Then I fell asleep. When I woke up, in the early afternoon, it would appear that the TV bandwidth is given over to house make-over programs, or garden make-over shows. But this just made my blood boil, because they have a troop of about 100 people all doing different things and they make over a place in about a day - its just not fair.
I fixed my playstation up in my bedroom and played Half Life. Then I slept again...
I wonder whats on the 'idiot box' tonight??
'They' Have Done it Again
Gaaaaaah! Are they doing this on purpose?? Today we see published a list of the 50 top 'goodly folk' and despite scouring the list for 3 hours I can't find my name anywhere on it.
How come? I rescued a baby frog on Wednesday that had fallen into my brothers soak away. I (probably) helped a little old lady across the road too. I would rob from the rich and give to the poor if it wasn't illegal - proof if it were needed about how law abiding I am.
I work hard....well Im on sick today cos I have lost my voice and have flu. There was even a solicitor on the good people list! How does that work then??! And Bob Geldof - he swears like a f*cking trouper - thats not very 'good' is it??
Bah - I want a gong! Maybe I should change my name by deed poll to sirmarktaylorobe, and then put some clever spaces in so it becomes Sir Mark Taylor OBE, a bit like people do with number plates. I may be onto something here :-)
How come? I rescued a baby frog on Wednesday that had fallen into my brothers soak away. I (probably) helped a little old lady across the road too. I would rob from the rich and give to the poor if it wasn't illegal - proof if it were needed about how law abiding I am.
I work hard....well Im on sick today cos I have lost my voice and have flu. There was even a solicitor on the good people list! How does that work then??! And Bob Geldof - he swears like a f*cking trouper - thats not very 'good' is it??
Bah - I want a gong! Maybe I should change my name by deed poll to sirmarktaylorobe, and then put some clever spaces in so it becomes Sir Mark Taylor OBE, a bit like people do with number plates. I may be onto something here :-)
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