Today, and for the rest of this week, probably, Im in Chertsey. My hotel room has an internet connection, which means I don't have to watch Emmerdale, Coronation Street followed by Eastenders.
Who the hell writes these things? They're all the same. The generic plot lines can be summed up as follows:
1. Someone dies of an illness thats in the news
2. Someone has an affair with a rivals wife/girlfriend/post op transexual
3. Someone is murdered
4. A business man sticks it to his rival (presumably, while said rival sticks it to the other guys wife/gf/transexual. Although who would setup a business in i) A rural village miles from anywhere ii) A backstreet iii) A grotty square?
5. Everyone works within a 2 metre radius of the pub, and they drink there every night.
And, no matter how cunning or lovable a character is, they *always* get found out. Usually within a few weeks, to keep the viewers on the edge of their seats.
And that just about sums up every single plot line for the last 1,000 years. Millions of people watch this without fail, day in, day out. Why?!
Even the characters are the same. Totally the same...
A hard man (or brothers in the case of East Enders)
A rival to the hardman/men
A comedy family/character to lighten the mood (just in case the Mogodons wear off I think)
Some teenagers. Usually a teenage girl gets pregnant by either i) a teenage boy ii) Her dad iii) or her teenage dad
A brassy bar woman
A wise woman, usualy quoting the bible or an old wives tale
So, just why are soap opera's so popular? What of their future? If I had my way, I would ban them all, but I would risk p!ssing millions of people off (as opposed to a mere handful who read this blog!) Is it because they demand so little of the viewer? Is it because people like to identify with the characters (Im just like Alfie, Iam, an honest broker from the bank of smiles, a smile and a wink to all the ladies and a helping hand to all the old grannies - yea thats me. Lord give me strength!)
Maybe the viewer likes to specualte about the plot lines and their outcomes. I know I do.
Example: "I bet he's knocking her off, while her boyfriend tries to undercut the other guy in business, and I bet it ends up with her getting pregnant, and shes not sure who the dad is, so she murders them both and bury's their bodies in the sheep dip. It'll turn out neither was the dad."
See, I don't have to watch it again for another 65 years.
I actually think that most people who watch Coronation street watch it purely out of a feeling of duty. No one could possibly watch it for entertainment.
I've been dying to get that off my chest...thanks for listening
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
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2 comments:
another thing about soaps is, they are supposed to be ordinary people, yet nearly everyone has thier own business. it may only be a cafe or a shop or a garage, but 95% of the people work for themselves and everyone else works for one of them, im sorry but if this ratio went on everywhere there would be about 20 businesses in every street.i bet even kirkella doesnt have this number of company bosses.
You forgot the ordinarily plain girl with glasses who actually turns out to be stunningly gorgeous following an image makeover which basically consists of her taking her glasses off. (or is that just the australian ones).
I only watch the street myself but my considered wisdom on soaps runs like this: They are primarily to keep the masses under the impression that they are happy with their lot by giving the impression that they are living exciting and worth while vicarious lives.
That's why Eastenders is pants, it just doesn't live up to the objective.
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