Found out today that because of the 183 day tax rule here in the USA, my return date to the UK is 20th March (or there abouts). However, sometime after 15th April I will be coming out again (probably for two or three months)
Aparently, after 183 days my company will have to pay tax to Gordon Brown *and* another 24% to the IRS, which sucks a lot, so I can see why I have to come home. Its a pain though, because there is still such a lot to do out here, Im also getting work on another up and coming project, which will mean more time out here in the future - its good to know my skills are required on different projects - oh to be busy and loved!
Had a meeting today with the technical manager about the new work, and towards the end of the meeting he told me a story about how he was bitten by a spider this time last year as he sat in his cube. The guy next to him was bitten too. After a couple of hours, he started to hallucinate, so he decided to go home. The next morning a colleague decided to take him to the hospital, as he was swelling up and his arm was black. To cut a long story short, he was 3 hours away from having his arm amputated and was on life support for 5 days! It was only the actions of a professor realising the problem that saved his life. he other guy who was bitten died - how scary is that?! When I got back to my cube, I checked it for spiders!
Im only working half a day tomorrow (1st Feb) because I have to pick my mate up from DFW for the skiing trip! I can't wait for that. Tomorrow night will be spent at the Londoner and maybe the Sherlock, and we'll probably visit a restaurant in Addison for some food. We will then be setting off at about 2am on Friday morning for the long drive to Colorado.
Check out the blog for pictures of the trip. I intend to take a photo for the 'Malvern Gazzelle' and have the words 'We *heart* Malvern Gazzelle' written in yellow snow!
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Monday, January 30, 2006
Can Someone Please Educate Me on This?
Global Warming...does it exist, and whats causing it? I've tried to answer as I see it, but please point out where Im wrong, cos I wanna know...
1. Does it exist? Well Greenland seems to be melting away quite fast, so it might be. But isn't the worlds climate subject to grand fluctuations anyway? Look at the ice age...and there was apparently a mini ice age in the 14th centuary, and Im sure if I could be bothered to read anything on the subject there would be documented tropical times in Northern Europe. So, if Greenland melts, the oceans will rise a few metres...I gotta say, 'Big Deal'. So, we lose a few coastal towns (Hull included, so Im all for it) Those towns were probably hideous eyesores anyway that attracted binge drinkers and ropey hideous tarts - wheres the loss? I'll be one person up in the queue for a drink at the bar. I don't think these people are an integral part of society :-) And on the plus side, Greenland will be a lush new playground, just means more land mass, which will mean no over population on the earth anymore. Bring it on!
2. What causes it? This is the bit that really really puzzles me. The scientists say its gases like Co2 that cause global warming. Humans cause this by burning fossil fuels, (i.e oil and its derivitives) They say that all this gas pumped into the atmosphere rises up and doesn't let the suns heat escape, thus warming the planet (thats how I understand it anyway, please correct me if Im wrong) Right this is the bit I don't get. Last time I was at a party and I blew a johnny up for a laugh, it sank to the floor. It was full of Co2, and it fell to the floor. I think (I read it online somewhere, along with this point Im making - can't credit the author cos I dont remember the article) that C02 is about 6 times heavier than air (Im probably wrong) so it sinks. So why is Co2 being blamed for rising and warming the earth? Even if all this super heated Co2 from burning fuels etc, did rise, it would cool on its way up, and sink....(oh and by the way, I read in this article that volcanoes spew out many many more time the amount of Co2 than us pesky humans do, so maybe its the Volcanoes that are causing it?)
So I just don't know what to believe...I don't think it exists
1. Does it exist? Well Greenland seems to be melting away quite fast, so it might be. But isn't the worlds climate subject to grand fluctuations anyway? Look at the ice age...and there was apparently a mini ice age in the 14th centuary, and Im sure if I could be bothered to read anything on the subject there would be documented tropical times in Northern Europe. So, if Greenland melts, the oceans will rise a few metres...I gotta say, 'Big Deal'. So, we lose a few coastal towns (Hull included, so Im all for it) Those towns were probably hideous eyesores anyway that attracted binge drinkers and ropey hideous tarts - wheres the loss? I'll be one person up in the queue for a drink at the bar. I don't think these people are an integral part of society :-) And on the plus side, Greenland will be a lush new playground, just means more land mass, which will mean no over population on the earth anymore. Bring it on!
2. What causes it? This is the bit that really really puzzles me. The scientists say its gases like Co2 that cause global warming. Humans cause this by burning fossil fuels, (i.e oil and its derivitives) They say that all this gas pumped into the atmosphere rises up and doesn't let the suns heat escape, thus warming the planet (thats how I understand it anyway, please correct me if Im wrong) Right this is the bit I don't get. Last time I was at a party and I blew a johnny up for a laugh, it sank to the floor. It was full of Co2, and it fell to the floor. I think (I read it online somewhere, along with this point Im making - can't credit the author cos I dont remember the article) that C02 is about 6 times heavier than air (Im probably wrong) so it sinks. So why is Co2 being blamed for rising and warming the earth? Even if all this super heated Co2 from burning fuels etc, did rise, it would cool on its way up, and sink....(oh and by the way, I read in this article that volcanoes spew out many many more time the amount of Co2 than us pesky humans do, so maybe its the Volcanoes that are causing it?)
So I just don't know what to believe...I don't think it exists
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Panhandling on the Net
Can you feckin' believe it!? Some chick is trying raise money for her sick ferret 'fuzzy' by getting people reading her blog to donate. Check it out by clicking here
So far shes raised $300 notes! Pure genius...!
Right, you lot better start donating to me (as soon as Ive sorted out paypal and got the button code pasted here!). Lets just call it 'Save Squirry the Squirell' There is a red squirrel that hangs around my apartment, and he nicks my nuts (no nob gags please!) If you don't start donating a dollar a read of this blog, Squirry gets it, and I don't mean my 'man sack'
Please donate, Im too cute to die
So far shes raised $300 notes! Pure genius...!
Right, you lot better start donating to me (as soon as Ive sorted out paypal and got the button code pasted here!). Lets just call it 'Save Squirry the Squirell' There is a red squirrel that hangs around my apartment, and he nicks my nuts (no nob gags please!) If you don't start donating a dollar a read of this blog, Squirry gets it, and I don't mean my 'man sack'
Please donate, Im too cute to die
ID Cards
Ah, the ID card debate - don't you just love it? Should we carry them? Should we pay for them? Will they help the 'War on Terror'?
Well, the House of Lords reckon its a bad idea, and most people do too. However Mr Blair seems to think that the public backs them in principle...which members of the public does he speak to?!
The LSE reckons it will cost us 19bn. I wonder how it will be paid for? Stealth tax? Security tax? Either way, its going to come out of our own pockets, and it will probably be dressed up as an 'essential tool in the fight against terrorism, illegal immigration etc blah blah blah'
Really, Blair? If the fight against terrorism is such a priority, why do you find it neccessary to cut so much money out of the defence budget, reducing the numbers of troops and much needed equipment, and thus putting our troops at risk of attacks at the hands of the terrorists in the countries *you* have sent them to? Surely that 19bn would be better spent on the people who are already on the ground fighting for us, and our freedoms that you're so intent on erroding back home?
I suspect he has some hidden big brother agenda, but is using his arguments as a smoke screen - like he always does. Also, I've worked in IT for quite a while, and one thing I can guarantee is that whatever they say its gonna cost, it will be double, whenever they say its going to be 'rolled out' it will be late (by years, not weeks or months!) and whoever is in charge of the project will get a bonus payment resembling more of a telephone number than a payment :-)
One thing's for sure...Im not paying for one
Well, the House of Lords reckon its a bad idea, and most people do too. However Mr Blair seems to think that the public backs them in principle...which members of the public does he speak to?!
The LSE reckons it will cost us 19bn. I wonder how it will be paid for? Stealth tax? Security tax? Either way, its going to come out of our own pockets, and it will probably be dressed up as an 'essential tool in the fight against terrorism, illegal immigration etc blah blah blah'
Really, Blair? If the fight against terrorism is such a priority, why do you find it neccessary to cut so much money out of the defence budget, reducing the numbers of troops and much needed equipment, and thus putting our troops at risk of attacks at the hands of the terrorists in the countries *you* have sent them to? Surely that 19bn would be better spent on the people who are already on the ground fighting for us, and our freedoms that you're so intent on erroding back home?
I suspect he has some hidden big brother agenda, but is using his arguments as a smoke screen - like he always does. Also, I've worked in IT for quite a while, and one thing I can guarantee is that whatever they say its gonna cost, it will be double, whenever they say its going to be 'rolled out' it will be late (by years, not weeks or months!) and whoever is in charge of the project will get a bonus payment resembling more of a telephone number than a payment :-)
One thing's for sure...Im not paying for one
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Claypit Review
Went out last night with Ron for a few beers and a curry. Started off in the Londoner, which was packed. Seems they have managed to import authentic British bar staff too - u wait ages at the bar to get served while they mill around and chat to each other, then they decide to serve u after a 5 minute wait. We had a pint in there, then went on to the Claypit. I walked in and it was packed - it was really huge too. It reminded me a bit of the Anupam in Malvern for those who know it, so I immediately thought it would be posh curry and over priced.
How wrong I was! There was a 35 minute wait for a table for two, so we got a pager and sat at the bar. Got chatting to a Scottish bloke from Glasgow - he didn't even beg for change for a cuppa tea :-) After a couple of beers we got our table. Popadoms arrived, but didnt really get a lot of pickles. I ordered a Shrimp in Ginger, cooked medium and a garlic naan. Ron had a chicken tikka dish. It was lovely, I would say mine was pretty much like a King Prawn Madras - just spicey enough to start sweating :-)
The bill came to $41, which is about 20 quid for two people, which is a result in my book!
Then we went to the Sherlock Holmes - which was packed, but the band was pretty rubbish, so we stayed for a couple of pints then headed back. A good night had by all :-)
How wrong I was! There was a 35 minute wait for a table for two, so we got a pager and sat at the bar. Got chatting to a Scottish bloke from Glasgow - he didn't even beg for change for a cuppa tea :-) After a couple of beers we got our table. Popadoms arrived, but didnt really get a lot of pickles. I ordered a Shrimp in Ginger, cooked medium and a garlic naan. Ron had a chicken tikka dish. It was lovely, I would say mine was pretty much like a King Prawn Madras - just spicey enough to start sweating :-)
The bill came to $41, which is about 20 quid for two people, which is a result in my book!
Then we went to the Sherlock Holmes - which was packed, but the band was pretty rubbish, so we stayed for a couple of pints then headed back. A good night had by all :-)
Friday, January 27, 2006
Skiing!
Well in less than a week, Mark L will be landing at DFW for our road trip to Breckenridge, Colorado (www.breckenridge.com) We plan to drive north on the I-35 to Oaklahoma City, Oaklahoma, then swing west onto the I-40 towards Amarillo, tx (cue 'Is this the way to Amarillo'!), then north again onto the I-25 towards Breckenridge. Mapquest tells me it will take about 14 hours - pah! I reckon we can do it in about 12.
Im really looking forward to it - havent been skiing for two years. I've been in the gym this week working on my legs and building up fitness. I've bought some 2-way radios (I was hoping to get these for christmas off my brother, but he decided to get me a Darth Vader money box, ages 4+, I feel a twat of the week nomination coming on!) and a back pack. So, I should be nicely kitted out to rule the slopes.
I'll take some pics and post them when I get back (unless the condo has a 'net connection, then I'll post daily.) Hey if we do have a net connection, and I take my laptop, I will probably spend the week playing half life 2! No, get thee behind me, Satan.
Laterz Dudes - thats cool snowboarder talk for 'Ill see you in a while', or so Ive been told.
Im really looking forward to it - havent been skiing for two years. I've been in the gym this week working on my legs and building up fitness. I've bought some 2-way radios (I was hoping to get these for christmas off my brother, but he decided to get me a Darth Vader money box, ages 4+, I feel a twat of the week nomination coming on!) and a back pack. So, I should be nicely kitted out to rule the slopes.
I'll take some pics and post them when I get back (unless the condo has a 'net connection, then I'll post daily.) Hey if we do have a net connection, and I take my laptop, I will probably spend the week playing half life 2! No, get thee behind me, Satan.
Laterz Dudes - thats cool snowboarder talk for 'Ill see you in a while', or so Ive been told.
Mmmm Curry
Off out for a curry tonight at the Claypit (www.claypit.com) with Ron of the RAF. It will be interesting to see if it comes anywhere near the curries of Malvern (Cafe Zam Zam, The Bengal Brasserie etc) Apparently it was voted best Indian in Dallas, according to its website (and the Dallas Morning News), so we'll have to see.
After the curry, we're off to see a band at the Sherlock Holmes pub, another Brit Bar. This bar is pretty cool because you have the bar area, with obligatory dart boards and red telephone box, then you go to the back room and there is a huge tabled area and bar and a stage. Seen a couple of good bands there, and a few duffers too!
It struck me that Gordon Brown has been harping on about Britishness, and flying the flag etc, and being in America, I have a unique perspective on how other nations view us. The Americans seem to love us, they like everything British. Only this morning I was chatting to the cleaner and she remarked 'At least you're of pure blood, being English, us Americans are Mongrels' I pointed out that she is in no way a Dog, but she didn't seem to get the joke :-)
Seems the Americans view the English as having a 'stiff upper lip', weird sense of humour and we all live in quaint little villages or castles and spend our time drinking tea or warm beer in the pub. The red telephone box is to the English what yellow cabs are to new yorkers.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Ooooh The Irony...
I was watching the 'Half a Tonne Man' last night on TV. It was about a guy who weighed (I think) 1,200lbs, so he was quite a big fella. He was apparently 7ft wide. He had his stomach stapled, once he had got his weight down a bit, and then he was allowed to go home. He said he didn't eat that much, but the bin liners scattered around his home stuffed with empty pizza boxes and diet coke cans, told a different story :-)
He is apparently doing well now though, he can hold a conversation without getting out of breath
The irony of the show, though, was the ad breaks. Every break contained at least one ad for
McD's, Junk-in-a-Box, Sonic, Burger King or other junk food item.
Only in America...
He is apparently doing well now though, he can hold a conversation without getting out of breath
The irony of the show, though, was the ad breaks. Every break contained at least one ad for
McD's, Junk-in-a-Box, Sonic, Burger King or other junk food item.Only in America...
"I wash myself with a rag on a stick"
I've just found some before and after pictures, and a little quote from him...
And this one:
So, maybe he is sticking to his diet...good on him if he is. However, heres a quote from him:
Patrick said he was not worried about returning to his former lifestyle on January 22.
"I’ve learned a lot while I’ve been here," he said.
"I’ll just keep doing what I’ve been doing, and I think things will be fine."
Patrick was looked after by his wife Edith after becoming housebound for seven years prior to being admitted to hospital. Patrick, who wears braces to keep up his trousers that are now too big, said he hoped to eventually slim down to 17st.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Bin Ladens Book Club
Seems Osama is jumping on the bandwagon of people like Oprah and Richard and Judy. In his latest address to the globe, not only did he warn of more attacks on the US, but he suggested some light bedtime reading..."Rogue State: A Guide to the World's Only Superpower"
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/4636742.stm
This endorsement has propelled this unknown author, William Blum into the best sellers list! I wonder if Osama enjoys reading this Blog? :-) I bet its him that post anonomously!
Saturday, January 21, 2006
I gotta get out more
What have I done this weekend? Not an awful lot! Friday night I slept for 12 hours, which was good. Then I went out to the Valley View Mall just for something to do. It wasn't particularly note worthy, so I didn't stay long.
Then I came home and played hours of Half Life 2. Im totally addicted to the death match game, but unfortunately I suck at it! I usually play the Wal-Mart map :-)
Last night I fell asleep on the sofa again at about 8pm. I dragged myself to bed at 11, and was woken up at about 1am by this almighty clap of thunder. Since then, it has been heaving it down. There is a little stream at the back of the apartments that has more or less been a puddle for the last several months, but now is quite fast flowing, not exactly white water rafting standard though!
Ive just been out on the balcony and its pretty cold, very wet, and the stream is quite swollen
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Numbers
So Osama Bin Laden has sent out a tape, offering a truce - aw thats nice, but in the same breath he warns to expect more attacks in America!
This tape was received on the 1/19, which is 9/11 backwards :-) I wonder if he sits in his cave and devises these releases to come out on numerically significant days or is it just pure chance?!
This tape was received on the 1/19, which is 9/11 backwards :-) I wonder if he sits in his cave and devises these releases to come out on numerically significant days or is it just pure chance?!
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
What Am I Like?
I suppose for those people who don't know me, this might be an interesting item (ok Im stretching it a bit.) But I was bored, so I did it anyway. Those who do know me, you might want to rebuke some of the replies!
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Sweet Like Chocolate
More twat news...New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin has stirred up a bit of a hornets nest out here. He said that God (here we go again) sent the recent Hurricanes as punishment for Iraq, but that God wanted New Orleans to come back as a 'chocolate city', meaning it was for blacks. Can you imagine if a white mayor of any city said that a place was a 'vanilla city' i.e for whites only. How long would that mayor stay in office? Mind you, who would be stupid enough to want to live in a city that is several metres under sea level, that is prone to Hurricanes?! Mayor Nagin is quite welcome to his chocolate city! Talk radio has been set alight over here on the comments and CNN has been evaluating the remarks. Mr Nagin had agreed to an interview on CNN this morning, but pulled out at the 11th hour (6:30pm) due to an 'emergency meeting'. CNN is currently broadcasting from outsde the upmarket restaurant that Mayor Nagin is having dinner at - must be some emergency! So, I nominate Nagin as twat of the week
Also in the news tonight, HilaryClinton said at a Martin Luther
King Jr. Day speech that Republican leaders have run the House "like a plantation" and the Bush administration will go down as "one of the worst" in U.S. history. Responding to the speech, House Speaker Dennis Hastert called her remarks "a little bit over the top."
"I've never run a plantation before. I'm not even sure of what kind of association she's trying to make," said the speaker, a Republican from Illinois. "If she's trying to be racist, I think that's unfortunate, but I'm not going to comment any further on that."
So Hilary has earned a 'twat nomination' too.Heh Heh! Martin Luther King Jnr Day...Im sure if he were alive today, he'd be spinning in his grave! Its a crazy, topsy turvey world, and Im proud to be part of it....
Monday, January 16, 2006
Poker? I hardly know her....!
Poker is a very very popular game over here, and it dawned on me that I have never really taken the time to learn. Anyone who has ever seen me try and play will know that I am totally useless (at poker) and I thought poker was a variation of '21 or bust', but I think I might have got that wrong.
I was flicking through the channels the other night and they are now televising the world poker championships. It was basically 4 fat blokes sat around a table smoking cigars and looking at cards. I thought, wow, I could probably do that - apart from the cigars, they're yucky! The commentator was getting really excited about some blokes hand (thats his set of cards apparently, not actually his proper hand) then someone put a card or two down and the crowd went wild. I have no idea why, but he seemed to have the admiration of his peers and the public, despite being a bit weird looking.
You can get really cool 'Texas Hold 'em' sets out here, so I might try and learn how to play while Im here. Then maybe Ill win the respect of some weirdo's smoking cigars. I've always wanted that.
I was flicking through the channels the other night and they are now televising the world poker championships. It was basically 4 fat blokes sat around a table smoking cigars and looking at cards. I thought, wow, I could probably do that - apart from the cigars, they're yucky! The commentator was getting really excited about some blokes hand (thats his set of cards apparently, not actually his proper hand) then someone put a card or two down and the crowd went wild. I have no idea why, but he seemed to have the admiration of his peers and the public, despite being a bit weird looking.
You can get really cool 'Texas Hold 'em' sets out here, so I might try and learn how to play while Im here. Then maybe Ill win the respect of some weirdo's smoking cigars. I've always wanted that.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Twat, continued
Just read on the BBC that Prescott's council tax bill was in fact paid from the public purse! He claims that he thought it was being paid as part of a perk of the job, but now has decided to pay it back. Thats good of him...
This bloke is in charge on the council tax system, and by his own admission he didn't realise what was going on! Id say he was rubbish at his job, and should be sacked. Bet he wont though...this smacks of what the labour party used to call 'Sleaze' just before they came to power.
Have already had one twat o' the week nomination for the coming week...a 'carer' looking after my grandad asked the family if he had decided to be buried or cremated, while my grandad was sat not 3 feet away from her. She also refused to take him to the toilet when he needed to go. Someone should remind this 'twat nominee' that she is being paid to care for the elderly, its her job. However, she might find herself out of a job once we have complained to her bosses - it'll be her that needs her soiled pants changing then....
Keep the nominations rolling in...!
This bloke is in charge on the council tax system, and by his own admission he didn't realise what was going on! Id say he was rubbish at his job, and should be sacked. Bet he wont though...this smacks of what the labour party used to call 'Sleaze' just before they came to power.
Have already had one twat o' the week nomination for the coming week...a 'carer' looking after my grandad asked the family if he had decided to be buried or cremated, while my grandad was sat not 3 feet away from her. She also refused to take him to the toilet when he needed to go. Someone should remind this 'twat nominee' that she is being paid to care for the elderly, its her job. However, she might find herself out of a job once we have complained to her bosses - it'll be her that needs her soiled pants changing then....
Keep the nominations rolling in...!
Friday, January 13, 2006
Lets Play 'Twat of the Week'
I have been reading a few blogs (while enjoying a glass of two of red wine - ah the liquor store, my saviour!) and I noticed that a few sites run a twat of the week award. As this is such a great idea, I have decided to run a twat of the week award on this site. I accept nominations from the world of celebrity, politics, film, and 'real life'
I suggest starting the nominations from now, and the biggest twat will be announced next Friday. However, for starters I will act as judge jury and executioner for the past week, so here we go:
Well obviously, the first nomination must be Ruth Kelly (uk education sectretary), who let a registered sex offender through the net and become a teacher. I was quite amazed to read that she is a mother of four (which means shes's been poked at least 4 times, despite being beaten with the ugly stick ) I was convinced that she was a lezzer, shes that minging. Well I imagine that she would be thrilled to let a registered perv teach her own children. Well done Kelly!
Second nominee is John Prescott (UK deputy Prime minister, and all round fat twat), who goes to prove there is one rule for him and one rule for us. This fat cun....(connection lost) decided although he was in charge of the council tax, he didn't have to actually pay it on his flat under admiraltiy arch in London (although his consitiuancy house is on saltshouse road in Hull) He owes about 7k in back council tax on the luxary flat, but has vowed to pay about 4k (from the public purse, probably) Im sure this makes the old age pensioner threatened with a jail term for owing less that 80 quid in the tax sleep much better at night.
My third nominee is Pat Robertson, who is some kind of religious nazi here in the US. He recently said that Ariel Sharon's stroke was an act of Gods wrath for dividing up Isreal. He also said that Hurricane Katrina was Gods wrath on the people of New Orleans and he also called for the assasination of Hugo Chavez, the president of Venezuala (obviously he missed the part in the bible that says thou shalt not kill). For that, I nominate him for the twat award.
I think the twat of the week award should go to John Prescott. Firstly because he represents Hull - my place of birth. This place would vote for a piece of sh!t if it wore a red rossette (and quite clearly they do when they vote Prescott in) These people have no independant thoughts of their own, and deserve this retard as their MP. I doubt anyone from Hull will rebuke this post, because most of them have no idea how to get onto the internet or what its for (Dad and uncles being the exceptions and anyway, I dont think they vote for him!), and anyway, most of them will be too busy collecting their giro's to be bothered to reply. Secondly, Prescott has no regard for his constituants, as he hardly ever holds a surgery there (he's too busy living in his council tax free flat). So he wins 'Twat of the Week'!
Right, get the nominations in for next week! I need more wine.....
I suggest starting the nominations from now, and the biggest twat will be announced next Friday. However, for starters I will act as judge jury and executioner for the past week, so here we go:
Well obviously, the first nomination must be Ruth Kelly (uk education sectretary), who let a registered sex offender through the net and become a teacher. I was quite amazed to read that she is a mother of four (which means shes's been poked at least 4 times, despite being beaten with the ugly stick ) I was convinced that she was a lezzer, shes that minging. Well I imagine that she would be thrilled to let a registered perv teach her own children. Well done Kelly!
Second nominee is John Prescott (UK deputy Prime minister, and all round fat twat), who goes to prove there is one rule for him and one rule for us. This fat cun....(connection lost) decided although he was in charge of the council tax, he didn't have to actually pay it on his flat under admiraltiy arch in London (although his consitiuancy house is on saltshouse road in Hull) He owes about 7k in back council tax on the luxary flat, but has vowed to pay about 4k (from the public purse, probably) Im sure this makes the old age pensioner threatened with a jail term for owing less that 80 quid in the tax sleep much better at night.
My third nominee is Pat Robertson, who is some kind of religious nazi here in the US. He recently said that Ariel Sharon's stroke was an act of Gods wrath for dividing up Isreal. He also said that Hurricane Katrina was Gods wrath on the people of New Orleans and he also called for the assasination of Hugo Chavez, the president of Venezuala (obviously he missed the part in the bible that says thou shalt not kill). For that, I nominate him for the twat award.
I think the twat of the week award should go to John Prescott. Firstly because he represents Hull - my place of birth. This place would vote for a piece of sh!t if it wore a red rossette (and quite clearly they do when they vote Prescott in) These people have no independant thoughts of their own, and deserve this retard as their MP. I doubt anyone from Hull will rebuke this post, because most of them have no idea how to get onto the internet or what its for (Dad and uncles being the exceptions and anyway, I dont think they vote for him!), and anyway, most of them will be too busy collecting their giro's to be bothered to reply. Secondly, Prescott has no regard for his constituants, as he hardly ever holds a surgery there (he's too busy living in his council tax free flat). So he wins 'Twat of the Week'!
Right, get the nominations in for next week! I need more wine.....
Tornado Warnings
Last night I was watching CSI on Spike, and a severe weather warning popped up at the bottom of the screen, warning of tornado's expected in the area. I didn't really think anything of it.
Then, this morning, I was chatting to my colleague at work and he said he had opened his door after the warning flashed up, and it was raining heavily and lightening. Turns out there was over 400 lightening strikes in the space of an hour! I didn't even see or hear a thing! Also, he said that when he opened his door he could smell smoke. It turns out that the smoke was blowing over from the bush fires in Oklahoma City - a couple of hours away.
Also in the news today: A man was accused of beating his wife with her vibrator. He apparently violated 10 different penal codes (snigger). I was wondering what she had said to him to make him go off 'half-cocked' like that (ho ho!) :-)
Then, this morning, I was chatting to my colleague at work and he said he had opened his door after the warning flashed up, and it was raining heavily and lightening. Turns out there was over 400 lightening strikes in the space of an hour! I didn't even see or hear a thing! Also, he said that when he opened his door he could smell smoke. It turns out that the smoke was blowing over from the bush fires in Oklahoma City - a couple of hours away.
Also in the news today: A man was accused of beating his wife with her vibrator. He apparently violated 10 different penal codes (snigger)
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
My 'Run In' with Site Security
Was off to the lab earlier today, and in order to catch up with my colleague, I ran up to him. I was running for less than about a minute.
Caught up to him and started chatting about work, then I heard a pip on the horn and a big van marked 'Security' pulled up and motioned me over to the van.
"No running on site, son" said the big burley security guard, with a handgun starpped around his large waist
"You're kidding, right?"
"No running on site, son"
"What?! Why?!"
"Its just the rules"
At this point I decided against getting into a debate with him, as he had a handgun and Iam basically a guest in his country!
Can you believe that...no running on site, and the guard couldn't even give me a good reason why not! I suspect its probably got something to do with insurance. Oh well, rules is rules I guess, even when its stupid
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
The 'Press Your Luck' Scandal
Watched this program on GSN last night. It was about a guy called Michael Larson who realised there was a pattern to the 'random' tiles on the board. He basically took the network for 110k back in 1984, simply by memorising the six patterns on the board.
The program made out like he was cheating in some way, but he was actually just very observant, and had a sort of 'Alt.Nerd.Obbsessive' quality that can be found in any large research and development company (you all know who/what I mean!)
The network executives had a meeting after they had all washed their underpants, to decide weather they should pay the man his cash, but no where did it say that paying attention was against the rules! Good on him I say!
You can read about it here: http://www.xanfan.com/pressyourluck/larson.htm
The program made out like he was cheating in some way, but he was actually just very observant, and had a sort of 'Alt.Nerd.Obbsessive' quality that can be found in any large research and development company (you all know who/what I mean!)
The network executives had a meeting after they had all washed their underpants, to decide weather they should pay the man his cash, but no where did it say that paying attention was against the rules! Good on him I say!
You can read about it here: http://www.xanfan.com/pressyourluck/larson.htm
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Some Pics
Went for a walk again this morning - its 80 degrees here today, so I thought it would be a bit silly to stay indoors all day. Its hard to believe that its January at the moment and in a couple of weeks I'll be on the ski slopes of Colorado. Anyway this is a picture of one of the lakes on the complex. This is just by my mail box, and not far from the pool.
This next picture is at the front of the apartment complex, just as you turn in off the road.
This next picture is of the Londoner Pub and Restaurant. This is 20 minutes walk away from my apartment, and it serves Guinness - its just not the same though! The pints glasses fall just a bit short of a proper pint, and sometimes the bar staff piss me off. They sometimes show football in here too, so I make sure Im well away from it when thats on. Was waiting for my boss in here one evening, throwing a few darts, when this English twat tried to start a conversation with me. Turns out he was from Grimsby - doesn't matter where you are in the world, you can smell a northern shithead a mile off! I told him to piss off in the end, so he went off trying to impress some unsuspecting Yank about how cool Grimsby was. If you look closely in the background, you can see the token red telephone box!
Here's a couple of pics of the off licence! I ended up buying a box of Heineken today - well it is warm, and I needed something to quench the thirst...
Seems they even sell lottery tickets here...I wonder if I'd be able to enter - what with being a johnny foreigner and all?
Oh, before I forget - Wal-Mart was in the news last night. Seems they are in trouble for some error on their DVD rental site. If you ask for a list of 'Films Featuring African Americans' you get 'The Planet of the Apes' returned! Oooops! If I find the link, ill post it
This next picture is at the front of the apartment complex, just as you turn in off the road.
This next picture is of the Londoner Pub and Restaurant. This is 20 minutes walk away from my apartment, and it serves Guinness - its just not the same though! The pints glasses fall just a bit short of a proper pint, and sometimes the bar staff piss me off. They sometimes show football in here too, so I make sure Im well away from it when thats on. Was waiting for my boss in here one evening, throwing a few darts, when this English twat tried to start a conversation with me. Turns out he was from Grimsby - doesn't matter where you are in the world, you can smell a northern shithead a mile off! I told him to piss off in the end, so he went off trying to impress some unsuspecting Yank about how cool Grimsby was. If you look closely in the background, you can see the token red telephone box!
Here's a couple of pics of the off licence! I ended up buying a box of Heineken today - well it is warm, and I needed something to quench the thirst...
Seems they even sell lottery tickets here...I wonder if I'd be able to enter - what with being a johnny foreigner and all?
Oh, before I forget - Wal-Mart was in the news last night. Seems they are in trouble for some error on their DVD rental site. If you ask for a list of 'Films Featuring African Americans' you get 'The Planet of the Apes' returned! Oooops! If I find the link, ill post it
Bored at Work?
You know the feeling...Friday afternoon, already filled in your 'lie sheet', read the Gazette and sent off some crank letters to the editor? Well have a bash at this sort of Music Quiz. There are apparently around about 72 hidden bands names in the picture....some are obvious, others a little more subtle and clever. (Hint: If you click on the picture you get the full size image)
Friday, January 06, 2006
Beer and Ballots
Well, it looks like Charles Kennedy's chances of keeping his job over the weekend are, unlike him, slim. I reckon by this time next week, he'll have resigned.
It was quite a press conference by all accounts. A leader of a party confessing to a drink problem, a problem that he had repeatedly denied, and then calling a leadership election, and insisting he would stand and win.
'Is he pissed?' I thought, 'yep he probably is' and I carried on what I was doing
Seems he likes to have a bit of a booze session. Who can blame him, I'd need to be drunk to lead the liberals. If I was him, I'd throw the towel in, go out and buy 20 Marlie Lights and get myself ensconced in the corner of some dingy Westminster bar, and sink a few pints before wobbling out into the night for a curry, then getting arrested on the way home for having a slash outside the gates of number 10 (Or even just reading out the names of the Iraqi War dead - its so easy to get arrested these days!)
Go on Chaz, you know you want to!
It was quite a press conference by all accounts. A leader of a party confessing to a drink problem, a problem that he had repeatedly denied, and then calling a leadership election, and insisting he would stand and win.
'Is he pissed?' I thought, 'yep he probably is' and I carried on what I was doing
Seems he likes to have a bit of a booze session. Who can blame him, I'd need to be drunk to lead the liberals. If I was him, I'd throw the towel in, go out and buy 20 Marlie Lights and get myself ensconced in the corner of some dingy Westminster bar, and sink a few pints before wobbling out into the night for a curry, then getting arrested on the way home for having a slash outside the gates of number 10 (Or even just reading out the names of the Iraqi War dead - its so easy to get arrested these days!)
Go on Chaz, you know you want to!
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Flexicon and Cars
Flexicon is the 'art' of melding two words together to make a new one, for example 'modern yet retro' becomes 'modtro' and 'Dancer-cise' comes from dancing and circumcise :-) I managed to get hold of a Pontiac Grand Prix again last night from the car rental place, its exactly the same as the car in this picture. Very nice it is too. It could be desciribed in flexicon terms as being 'Cool-tastic'
However, while I was in the UK, I was unfortunate enough to have a Ford Focus. I would describe this car as being 'Shiny and Bright' :-D
The jet lag isn't too bad at the moment. I forced myself to stay up to 11 o'clock last night. I was watching the unfolding mining disaster story on CNN. I was quite relieved when they were reporting that 12 men had been found alive, just as I went to bed. I was quite shocked this morning when I woke up and logged on only to find that it had been mis-reported, and that only one man had been found alive.
I think I'll have a trip to Wal-Mart later today - I'd better check how much money I have left after xmas....
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Happy New Year
Happy 2006 y'all. I flew back today after a good 2 week break. Ended up getting a bad bout of flu on New Years Eve, so no partying for me :-( But on the bright side, the french woman sat near me on the plane started to show the symptoms I had on the way back - so it wasn't all bad!
Can't believe the weather here...80 degrees when I landed! I have the air con cranked up as I write this
I also cant believe that Celebrity Big brother starts on the 5th in the UK and Im gonna miss it...if the rumours are true, Barrymore will be in there, which means the Big Brother Pool will be the most dangerous stretch of water since the Suez Canal :-)
Can't believe the weather here...80 degrees when I landed! I have the air con cranked up as I write this
I also cant believe that Celebrity Big brother starts on the 5th in the UK and Im gonna miss it...if the rumours are true, Barrymore will be in there, which means the Big Brother Pool will be the most dangerous stretch of water since the Suez Canal :-)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
