The Great Green Con

I heard on the radio today, that Virgin Atlantic will soon be offering passengers the chance to buy a Carbon Offset when the duty free trolley comes around!

Ha!

It seems that to carbon offset a trip to New York might cost about £20. What a con! They don't state how this extra tax might be used to offset your journey, so I imagine that it will go straight into the pocket of Mr Branson.

The conversation would probably go something like this....

Stewardess: "Hello Mr Taylor, would you like to give £20 to offset your journey?"

Me: "Hmm, no thanks, perhaps you might like a kiss?"

Stewardess: "Im sorry I don't follow?"

Me: "Well I thought I might offer you the chance to kiss my hairy arse?"

I can imagine what would happen if I started adding a few quid to my invoice at work, and tried to pass it off as an offset!

This green bandwagon is really getting beyond a joke now I think...

My Tits

I was driving along in my car yesterday and noticed something on my tits. It was Amy Winehouse.

Let me explain...

Mindful of recent comments that I listened to 'boring' radio 4, I decided to tune to radio 1, in an attempt to become more hip and cool. Amy Winehouse and the cover version 'Valerie' was on. Now don't get me wrong, I like the beehive sporting, pop bad girl, and her tune, 'Rehab' is in my top 25 most listened to tracks on my iPod. I just feel that 'Valerie' is getting a little too much air play...

I tuned to Radio 2...

Amy Whinehouse - 'Valerie'

I tuned to Hallam FM...

Amy Whinehouse - 'Valerie'

Humph...I tuned to Lincs FM...

Amy Whinehouse - 'Valerie'

It was at this point, I noticed Amy on my tits.

I tuned to radio 4, it was a report on the falling stock markets. I sat back in my seat and lapped up my boring old fogey ways :-)

Amy Whinehouse now gets on my tits.

New Job

Just finished the first week of my new job. Its going very well and Im enjoying getting my teeth into the new challenge.

Haloween was good, and Carol had the usual party. I have some pictures to post too, and one of the pics seems to show a disembodied face staring out from the garden - spooky!

Anyway - gotta dash. I'll be posting more later :-)

Week Off

Had my last day at work yesterday, and now I have the rest of the week off! Yippee! I didn't get up until 8:30 this morning, which is a good lay in for me.

Off into Lincoln today to sort some stuff out for the new job, and to print some pics from my mum and dads holiday.

Tomorrow I'll be off to Malvern for a few days. You can't beat not being at work :-)

Sweary

Well well, it seems that its now a good idea to swear at work

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/norfolk/7047536.stm

Well cock-a-doodle-f*cking-do! Who came up with this friggin' gem?! I could have told the daft b*stards that.

Well, im off for a solidarity building session with my c*nting contemparies

I love swearing I do!

The X Factor

So, who's been watching this? I have, and yes, I know I need to seek treatment for trash TV addiction. Im a hopeless junky...they told me how good it would feel, but not how baaaad :-(

Anyway, I was really surprised that Ghostt didn't get through. I thought they deserved a place in the last 3. Im so glad Icaro didn't get through - I just can't believe he got as far as he did!

Also, I know Im being horribly manipulatedby the editing of the show, but Rhydian really is coming over as a total slimey toad. Pervesely, I really hope he doesn't get voted off early - I think it will make good telly! Also, can anyone else see his first job after X Factor playing a pantomime villan in a Panto somewhere?!

My tip for the winner...Same Difference. Creepy brother and sister duo, but very smiley, and quite tuneful. Far too many hugs and kisses between them though!

And There's More...

Guess which city came 9th in the most harmful drinking hotspots?!

Hardly surprising though with a several pubs on every street corner...

No Prizes

Well, it seems the worst place to live is Middlesborough...no prizes for guessing which city came second :-D

New Beginnings

Its been a couple of weeks since I last posted, this is mainly due to hectic times at work and home.

Anyway, I have a new job...I have decided to take the plunge and go contracting - basically self employed. I never blog about work on here, so those that read this and know me, will already know where Im off to and what Im doing, those that don't know yet, will know in due course!

Anyway...more posts soon :-)

Morning

Well I have re-posted the pictures below, but if it doesnt work this time I dunno what to do.

Things have been very hectic lately, and show no signs of slowing down at all. Mind you, I have been pretty good this year and have already managed to start some christmas shopping. I should be in Malvern again this year for christmas, so no doubt I will be catching up with a few of you.

I see Gordon Brown has whimped out of an early election. Chump. It made me laugh when I heard him say that he thought the public didn't want an election this autumn. How arrogant of him to know what we want! Then in the same program a poll showed that nearly 80% of people wanted an election! Well done Gordon, you certainly have your finger on the pulse of the nation you lord over.

New Camera

I have just bought a FinePix S9600, so i'll be posting a few more pics from now on! Heres some test ones I've been taking...
















This one shows the garage (Front *and* side door!) and the patio. I really need to get the roof finished off soon.
















This one shows the area by the side of the garage that has just been dug over, seeded and a pond put in
















And heres a closer look at the patio

More pictures will follow, as I get better at working out what all the buttons do!!

Saving Paper

I see that hatchet faced Harpie, Cherie Bluregh (or Booth, what ever the hell shes called) is writing her auto biography.

Thats good, Im just about out of arse wipes at my house...

More Work

I have had a patio area built at the front of my house now, as you can see from the pictures here.

I decided to get someone in to build this, rather than attempt it myself, becuase it covers quite a large area, and I didn't think I'd have the time or patience to do it myself!

These first pictures shows the area that was dug out and flattened ready for the paving stones






























And these next few show the inital pavers being laid. You can see from these pics, the drain lids. These were all on different levels, so they had to be cut down or raised up to get the right levels. Can you imagine what they would have been like if I had attempted it?!






























These last pictures here shows the whole area paved. There is a space left in the middle for a gravelled area to put tubs on etc. It should look really nice next summer (if we actually get a summer in 2008!)






























And here is a picture a few days later with it all grouted and finished off with some tubs on display too.

















Here's a couple of pictures of the Dorset Naga's. I have quite a few of them growing now...looking forward to burning my mouth out on these in a month or so :-)

X Factor

I've been watching X Factor recently and i've noticed that if you want to get through, you need to have some kind of sob story to guarentee your place in the boot camp round

Next year I have decided to borrow someones child, dress them in rags, make their faces all dirty and say:

Me : "I had to adopt little Oliver here, because his mum and dad left him on my door step when he was 1 day old"

Judges: "Awwwwww, he's so cute"

Me: "Yes its terrible, we haven't eaten in three years, but it was either us or his pet rabbitt"

(I kick the Urchin's ankles)

Urchin: "Booo Hooo"

Sharon: "Awww bless, he's crying about his rabbitt"

Me: "Yes, he's very upset - it might be a good idea not to mention his pet stick insects. He still thinks they're on holiday"

I belt out some popular tune of the day, in drunk, pub singer karoke style, and voila, a record deal lands on my lap.

Im a friggin genius, I am

Ouch

Well, that'll teach me to try and keep fit - went to the gym on Tuesday, and pulled a muscle and trapped a nerve in my back doing leg presses :-(

So, I smell of deep heat at the moment, and Im finding it hard to walk

Who said the gym was a good way to keep fit??